Previously…
Asma
Everything happened for a reason. Maybe
Rashid wouldn’t have been happy with Maryam. Maybe something better awaited
him. That had to be it. Allah never takes something away from someone without
giving him or her something better. Even I learned that the hard way. But as I struggled over what
to say and battled down my sniffles, I thought of only one thing. How could I
make Rashid see that?
____________
Asma
I broke the silence with the only
way I knew how; I apologized.
Me:
“Rashid, I’m so sorry.”
He looked up at me then, and the
desperation had vanished from his confused, assessing eyes.
Rashid:
“Why are you apologizing?”
Because
it’s all my fault, I wanted to blurt out. But that would be selfish of me
to say. And this wasn’t about me; it was about him. He gave me a dazzling smile
then. I felt 3bdulla glaring at him in warning, because his smile instantly
vanished. If one looked at Rashid now, one wouldn’t believe that the very same
person had just confessed a reminiscent past. I was a little taken aback by his
sudden change in attitude. He never failed to surprise me.
Me:
“I'm just sorry it didn’t work out…”
I heard a laugh ripple up his
throat.
Rashid:
“Asma, seriously don’t worry about it! I
only told you so that you could know the reason behind my behavior towards you.
And there’s no point in apologizing for something that cannot be changed.”
Even though I was instantly
relieved, something felt wrong. I didn’t want to be fooled by his defensive
façade. But I also didn’t want to make a bigger deal out of it. I didn’t want
to upset him.
Me:
“Yes… What’s done is done…”
Rashid:
“Exactly.”
Me:
“So did you ever tell her?”
He froze for a moment and eyed me
skeptically.
Rashid:
“Tell her what?”
Me:
“The truth… about everything.”
Rashid:
“Of course not!”
I widened my eyes. Why wouldn’t he
tell her? Why wouldn’t he try to fix things? If she really felt the way I
presumed she did, he could have easily won her back with the simple truth. Maybe
that was all she needed; the truth. As if reading my thoughts, Rashid shifted
uneasily and explained further.
Rashid:
“She was happy. I couldn’t ruin that for
her. She was engaged for crying out
loud, and she wasn’t the type to just ‘settle’ for anyone. Whomever she got married
to, she definitely loved him more than me. That is something I know for sure.”
I had no answer to that, and I felt
cool trickles of air settle on the insides of my palm as I unclenched a fist I
was unconsciously holding. I didn’t know what to say to him. It seemed that he
had accepted the fact that he had lost her, but as I looked at his perfect
face, I realized that he might not ever open up to the idea that there might be
someone else for him. I feared that he might give up on love altogether. Before
I had the chance to say anything, he dismissed us with one single sentence.
Rashid:
“Inzain, I’ve answered everything and I
actually need to leave. Is there anything else you need from me?”
Me:
“Oh, umm laa of course we don’t want to bother
you or anything…”
I looked into 3bdulla’s blank eyes
for reassurance as Rashid stood up. He gave me a gentle smile and got up as
well, dragging me with him.
3bdulla:
“Mashkoor Rashid. Allah weyak.”
Without letting me say a single
word, he held my wrist and stalked out of the room, not even giving me a chance
to object. I felt Rashid’s gaze settle on our backs, and for some reason I felt
a chill of guilt swarm through me. I realized then that this was something out
of my control, that this was something I couldn’t fix, and 3bdulla was trying
to show me that. Rashid’s fate was up to Allah. I had to accept that. So I did
the only thing I could possibly think of at that point. I prayed silently for
his happiness, my eyelids shutting for just a moment as 3bdulla guided me down
the hallway towards our room.
3bdulla shut the door behind us with
betraying softness, and he turned to look at me. The strained little muscles on
his forehead creased just a slight, and I knew instantly that he held something
from me. I attempted a slight grin and tried to think of something to say to
make him return my smile.
Me:
“Well, that went well, didn’t it?”
He shook his head in disbelief and
sighed.
Me:
“What?”
3bdulla:
“I can’t keep this from you any longer.”
My heart involuntarily gave a hard
thump, something it usually did when I sensed that I was on the verge of a
confrontation or an unwanted conversation.
Me:
“Keep what?”
I whispered. I held my breath,
trying to calm my pulse down, as I waited for his response. Did I say something
that displeased him in the meelas? My head raced, trying to prepare me for the
blow that as about to hit, trying to work out every angle.
He suddenly cupped my cheeks in his
palms and brushed his lips over mine, silencing my thoughts. His kiss was so
urgent that I couldn’t help but give him the response he wanted. He broke it
with a suddenness that left me grumbling, and he hugged me tightly and whispered
into my ears.
3bdulla:
“Now that everything’s settled, I have a
surprise for you.”
Rashid
I stole a quick glance at the couple
before I took my leave through the door that lead to the front yard. I don’t
know why, but I felt a frightening easiness in my chest, as if something had
been lifted. I felt relief. Asma finally knew. I could see it in her eyes, how
much she wanted to reach out, how much she willing to blame herself just to
make me feel better. 3bdulla’s presence ultimately silenced her. I smiled.
Maybe one day, I would also find the kind of love they had. I shook that
thought away. What was I thinking? I didn’t want
to fall in love, because I knew how much it hurt losing a person you loved. I
wasn’t about to put myself in that situation again. But I couldn’t deny that
every time I saw Asma’s smiling eyes, I wished I could make someone happy like
that, the way 3bdulla made her. I hurled my 3’i6ra and 3igal off my head and
dumped them in a crumpled pile on the passenger seat, turning the ignition of
the car on. For a moment, I rested my forehead on the steering wheel, clutching
the curved leather with my fingertips as I let Maryam’s memory haunt me one
last time.
Asma
My heart skipped a beat in
excitement and relief.
Me:
“So you’re not mad at me?”
I felt him smile against my cheek
before he tilted his head back and looked at me.
3bdulla:
“My overthinking little smurf, of course
I’m not mad at you!”
I giggled slightly in embarrassment, and
he turned and walked into the dressing room, taking off his kandora.
Me:
“So what’s the surprise?”
I squealed eagerly as I followed
him, silently relishing the sight of him in his faneela and wzar, his exotic
skin a beautiful contrast against the white fabric.
3bdulla:
“Let’s just say that you’ll have to wait
a while before you get it.”
He smiled smugly at my pout as I
realized that he wasn’t going to tell me anything.
Me:
“3abady! I hate it when you do this! Just
tell me!”
His smile stretched even wider as he
flashed his teeth at me in an arrogant grin.
Me:
“Uff I hate you!”
I crossed my arms and pleaded with
my eyes, but his face was set and I knew that nothing I did would make him
spill.
Me:
“So stubborn. At least tell me when I’ll see the surprise… how about that?”
3bdulla:
“I’ll just say soon.”
Me:
“And how soon is your ‘soon’? Soon as in
a couple of days, or a few weeks…”
He laughed then.
3bdulla:
“I’m not telling you anything!”
I persisted.
Me:
“BUT you’re not exactly telling me
anything about the surprise itself, just when I’ll get to see it… Come on 3bdulla…”
He contemplated my statement for a
moment and then dropped his head in surrender.
3bdulla:
“Fine… I’ll ONLY tell you when. Got it?
After that, no more questions.”
I jumped in excitement.
Me:
“Okay I swear! Walla no more questions!”
3bdulla:
“I’ll show it to your after your final
semester.”
Me:
“You mean before I graduate? But that’s…”
I started calculating how many weeks
I had left, and I narrowed my eyes at him.
Me:
“That’s not soon at all. It is months
away!”
3bdulla:
“Too bad.”
He lifted his brow up in triumph and
I groaned.
3bdulla:
“Don’t worry. You’ll love me to death
when you finally find out what it is. It’ll be worth the wait.”
I rolled my eyes at his
self-assurance and turned and walked away, but I couldn’t contain the smile
that spread across my face as the list of possibilities started unraveling in
my head. My toes automatically curled in excitement, and I half walked, half
skipped my way out the door as I dialed Noufy’s number, impatient to tell her
the news.
Noufy
As soon as I heard her ringtone, my
feet jumped and I immediately picked up the phone.
Me:
“ASOOOOOMTYY!!!”
Asma:
“HII LOSER! I MISSED YOU!”
I started giggling and she joined
in. Both of us made small talk and caught up in half gibberish and I could tell
from the awkward glances that were shot at me that no one understood what we
said except us. I laughed again.
Me:
“Dude my grades are terrible! I had a
fight with the professor this morning and the old senseless idiot might fail me
now!”
Asma:
“Noufy… What did you do this time?”
Me:
“Asma, why do I always hear blame in your
voice? It wasn’t my fault!”
Asma:
“Hahahah I’m sorry 7bibty, what did he
do?”
Me:
“It doesn’t really matter I’ll sort it
out with him. He knows I’m right anyway.
Asma:
“Hehe okay hun. Gosh, I can’t believe
that we’re so close to graduation!”
Me:
“Haha 7booba we’re not that close. We
still have a long way to go.”
Asma:
“But we’re on our last year!”
Me:
“Yah I guess, when you put it that way.
Now tell me why you really called because I can hear the excitement in your
voice yal habla, yalla spill! What’s going on?”
I heard her giggle hysterically,
something she sometimes did when she had exciting news and could barely contain
it. I smiled at her and wondered if 3bdulla found my best friend even the
slightest bit weird.
Asma:
“3bdulla has a surprise for me but he
won’t tell until before graduation! So you have to help me figure it out.”
I grinned in eagerness as I started
scheming in my head. Asooma came to the right person. My heart skipped a beat
as I realized that we might have to get Sul6an to help out. I hadn’t seen him
in a long time.
To be continued…
