Beneath Guarded Hearts - 91

Previously…

3bdulla: “If you really want to know that bad, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise me that you won’t freak out.”

My eyes widened in surprised curiosity as he shook his head. I felt the excitement accelerate up my spine, and my smile widened into a childish grin. I nodded again, waiting for him to spill the ‘surprise.’

Me: “I promise.”

_________________

Asma

            I waited. I bit my lower lip, trying to contain the excitement. What could it be? My hands trembled as I clasped them together in a round fist, itching to break free and shake the answer out of him. I noticed a contained smile on his face.

3bdulla: “I got a new job.”

            I blinked as I let the words sink in.

Me: “What? What new job?”

3bdulla: “Well I don’t start until a few months but it’s in Bu6’abi.”

Me: “Bu6’abi.”

            I repeated, trying to figure out how this was supposed to be a surprise for me.

3bdulla: “Ya! That’s what I wanted to tell you; we’re moving there!”

Me: “What? We’re moving?”

            He had a smug expression on and waited for me, assuming I was still in shock. Well, I was in shock but not the good kind. How could he simply make that decision without me? Where would we live? What about college? It’s too far away for me to drive everyday from there! Did he even think this through? Did he take my point of view into consideration?

3bdulla: “Yep. It’s closer to work and we can come back during the weekends and spend them together or with family. It’ll be great! I already have this really nice apartment in mind and I want to take you one day to see it-”

Me: “Wait, wait! You already picked out an apartment? When did you even decide this?”

3bdulla: “When I was first told that I go the job. Why, what’s wrong?”

Me: “What’s wrong? What about what I want? What about me, your WIFE? I’d have to drive two hours every single morning to get to college, and drive back another two hours to get back!”

3bdulla: “Um awal shay, you will have graduated by the time we moved so you wont have to drive two hours back and forth. Thani shay, so what if you had to? Your sister has a job there and drives from Dubai to Abu Dhabi every single day. I don’t see why you can’t do it either…”

Me: “3bdulla! Are you serious right now?”

3bdulla: “Sho mshkiltich inzain? I’ll hire a driver for you if you really don’t ‘feel like’ driving.”

Me: “What are you implying, that I’m lazy? I don’t need a driver! That’s not what it’s about.”

3bdulla: “Then what’s your problem? Stop being so dramatic Asma it’s not that big of a deal.”

Me: “It is when you go off making decisions like that on your own. You are unbelievable! Ya3ni don’t I get a say in it? Am I supposed to just follow you everywhere like a puppy?”

3bdulla: “Fine, you know what? Stay. Ana may5e9ny.”

Me: “What do you mean ‘stay?’ What about you?”

3bdulla: “I told you. I’m moving to AD. Whether you want to join me or not is up to you.”

Me: “3bady, stop being childish and discuss it with me. Mayestwee che!”

3bdulla: “No, it’s simple. Either you want to come with me or you don’t. If you really want to Asma, you’d find a way to compromise.”

            Compromise? He was telling me about compromise? Why was it that I was always the one expected to compromise? Weren’t we supposed to be equals? I shut my mouth and refused to say the puddle of phrases waiting to burst out at the tip of my tongue, all of which I knew I’d regret saying. Yet again, it was all the truth, but I kept it in and contained the anger in my voice.

Me: “Okay.”

***

            Selfish. That was the word that was being overstated in the thoughts my mind would put together. How could he be so selfish? I told him to go ahead and choose an apartment without me and then when he finally decides to move in, I’d tell him my choice. What was worse was that I started remembering every single time I compromised for him, every single time I brushed things off because I loved him. Now I knew that it was every little thing he didn’t care enough to notice. I didn’t mind and I liked being an obedient and complacent wife but this wasn’t something small. Moving was a decision couples made together. I would be far away from all my family, especially my brother. I know I haven’t seen him much these days because he’s busy with Baba’s company but there was always that prospect that he was there and close by should I ever need him. In some ways, I trusted him more than I did my own husband but I would never tell him that. I would never shame my 3bdulla or give cause to think that he’s given me a reason not to trust him. I love him. Maybe this was just one last sacrifice I had to make in order to be happy with him. But then again, how could he be so selfish?

To be continued…