Sunday, July 31, 2011

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 36

Previously…

Sul6an
--This is going off topic. Do you need my number wila how is this going to work? Or don’t you wanna know about 3bdulla’s video? The one you DIDN’T know about? :D
>Laa2 3ndy ra8mch I’ll call you in 5 minutes
--How do you have my number?
--Wait wait, lemme guess: same way you got my pin?
>I have my sources ;)
--Uggh just call and let’s get this over with!
>Ok

She’s hilarious! 7asait I wanted to chat more weyaha w a3athibha shwaya :p Bas I wanted to hear her voice. For some strange reason…
_________________


Asma

Me: “We have separate seats?”

Mom: “Haaih mama ma7a9alt seatat 3dal ba3a6’ the plane was packed!”

            The only time she actually got unorganized still wasn’t to my benefit. Ya3ni wrong timing, wrong situation. Whatever I shrugged it off w I didn’t really care. At least I would be far away from everyone. Especially him.
            Noufyy was right all along. And now I can see why she has been warning me endlessly. Bas of course, stupid me, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Which was a big mistake. But it was too late. He reached too deep into my heart, and cut it just as deeply. His eyes tormented me in my dreams. I kept seeing images of him doing worse things than what I had seen. Or a part of what I saw anyway. I never found the courage to complete the video, but in my folder it stayed.
            I avoided him as much as possible. He didn’t dare ask me what had happened, why I was acting so awkward around him, why I was ignoring him… what was the source behind the pain-stuck image that shadowed in my eyes. He tried to see through me, to talk to me with his eyes, but I refused to let him in. I don’t think he even knew what he was doing, but I could see it clearly. I hope someday, someone will hurt him the way he has me, and he will finally feel the exact same way that I do. But even as I thought that, I realized that beneath all the anger and hate, I still couldn’t wish for him such a horrible fate. I found the depths of my heart hoping secretly that he finds his happiness, that he finds someone who is worth changing for, and who will make him a better person.
            ‘I wished for your happiness. Did you ever give mine into thought?’ I found myself whispering under my breath, so low that even I barely heard it.
            I made myself move and concentrate on something. Okaay, let’s find my seat! Hmm wain 24A… I’m not gonna let him upset me anymore… 21B… But why did he, and nada, and they… Ufff where is this seat a5er el dnya! I wish I hadn’t fallen for his-

Me: “There, 24A! W a5eeran”

            I put my electronics bag in the upper cabinet and took out some gum from my handbag. When I lifted my head, a shocking bolt ran up my spine as I met the eyes of the passenger beside me.

Me: “You have GOT to be kidding me!”

Rashid: “Asmaa, what a coincidence! We’re on the same flight, and our seats are next to eachother! Now that’s a sign right there.”

Me: “Sign? I’ll bet you planned all this you… you… Ugghh just leave me alone!!”

            I was surprised to hear a disappointed sigh from him.

Rashid: “Well, there really isn’t anything you can do now. The plane’s about to take off. 5thy mkanch and maybe later you can try to switch seats with Sul6an or someone ok? Bas not your crazy cousin Allah y5aleech!”

            I laughed at that. He seemed… different. I suddenly felt safe around him, safer than 3bdulla actually. A bright, fresh aura gleamed out of him and he smiled at my puzzled face, sending my nerves in flames. Well, this reaction was new. I never thought he would have an amazing smile. Maybe because I never bothered to look at him properly…

Me: “Okaay fine.”

Rashid: “That’s the spirit.”

Me: “Ya ya don’t get your hopes up. I still hate you.”

            He raised his brow at me.

Rashid: “Don’t tell me. Another lecture on my forcing this marriage on you? Allah y5aleech save it and maybe, just maybe we’ll have a pleasant flight.”

Me: “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

            He snorted at that. He turned back into the same devil I had known him to be. Should’ve known.

Rashid: “Save your lies w your spoiled speech about how much your life is ruined. You’re so selfish matfakreen fe ay 7ad 3’air 3mrch! Did you ever consider that maybe it was forced on me as well?! I’m so tired of trying to please you when you obviously despise me. Walla this isn’t worth it 5alha tzig she doesn’t wanna make it work at least kaifha I have better things to deal with than another spoiled brat…”

            He started mumbling to himself at the end, as if I wasn’t even there, as if it wasn’t me he was talking about! He didn’t give me a chance to react, much less give him an answer. Well, this was new! He shoved his headphones into his ears and completely ignored everything around him. A frown creased my forehead, and I don’t know why I felt a little ashamed under my annoyance at his attitude. Had I been overreacting all this time? Was he really not the person I thought he was? But that night… How could I interpret it any other way?
            ‘You’ll never know unless you ask him…’ I heard a voice in my head tell me. I sighed. It was time I brought up a subject that had been neglected for too long.


To be continued…

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 35

Previously…

Asma
Nobody would see how much he had just shattered me. Nobody would pity me. Not even me.
I heard several bangs on my door, and then a crashing noise. Then, I sensed something moving towards me. I ignored it as if I hadn’t felt it. A large form loomed over me, casting a slight shadow. It bent down, and I heard clicking noises, and the tormenting voices from the video were silenced. Large arms picked me up and hugged my small body, and I cried onto Sul6an’s familiar chest as he held me in hushed stillness.
I vaguely heard him say, “7sabk 3ndy…” before I dozed off, the pain sending me into a quiet siesta.
­­­­­________________


Sul6an

            No, I didn’t beat him, if that’s what you’re thinking. Lil2asaf, Asma 7alifatny iny ma a5abra ay shay w ma a6’riba. She doesn’t want him to know anything. At all. She babbled some crap about not giving him power, which I didn’t understand so I just nodded to make her stop talking.
            I had sent the video that was playing on her phone to myself through bbm before I went to comfort her. I had never seen this before. W hatha ana we’re talking about. So how did she get this? Where did she get it? Asma has no contacts at all to ask about except… oh shit. Nouf. Ugghhh her annoying best friend had a past so it must be her! Mno 3’airha? Hai 3’abeya? She should know Asma better than me! Bas I guess not, because if she did, she would know that what she just did was the stupidest idea ever. Does she even know what kind of person Asma is? 9ragt her pin while Asma was sleeping and I decided to do a little asking myself. I also took her number. Ya3ni in case she doesn’t answer her bbm, not for any other reason…
            Hmm. She accepted. Does she always accept strange pin numbers?

>Hi nouf
            --Is this the Sul6an I think it is?
>Yes, o5oo Asamy
            --Ohhh okaay u kinda scared me there

            Sho? Chaih she knows another Sul6an? Mno ha? W if she thought it was the other sul6an, why would she accept-
            Why am I even thinking about this? Shut up ufff yalla let’s just get this over with 3an teelis titfalsaf 3alaya…

>Nouf
            --Ummm yaa?
>How well do you know 3bdulla?

            She took a while to answer. Ymkin 7asat iny I found out? Hahaha ertibkat she actually thought she could pull this off without my knowledge?

>Yes nouf, I know what you did
            --Uffff I can’t EVER trust asma to hide anything from you!!
>You told her to hide this from me?
>W laish inshalla?
            --Ummm ya3ni cuz I knew you’d react like this!
>React like what? I didn’t even start reacting w che tgoolen? =))
            --Ohooo…
>Are you crazy? Do you even know what kind of person Asma is?
>Ya3ni t3arfeen sho yalis agool when I say you just SHATTERED your best friend by sending that video?
            --Aaaaih don’t make me sound like the bad guy!
-- Ana I didn’t mean to hurt Asma I just wanted her to stay away from him I told her 50 million times that he was bad w inh he will hurt her bas she never listens to me! If I didn’t send it to her she would be in deep shit for the rest of her life cuz you know how asma gets attached to the people she cares about!
>Inzain inzain hady…
--HADY? Ya3ni you think you can just take my pin 3ala kaifk w u made assumptions in your head w u threw accusations at me w u expect me to calm down?
            --La sorry I’m not gonna calm down!
>NOUF!
            --Ha…

            Hhhhh walla hai t6’a7ek! Dgeega m3a9ba w dgeega 3adeya! So moody! I wonder what else don’t I know about this puzzling girl…

>Mn wain hal video?
>Ya3ni ana roo7y ma knt a3rf 3anh sho el salfa I’ve never even heard rumors about this much less a video about it!
            --You don’t know EVERYTHING you know :p
>Nouf -,- Mb wagteh
            --Ufff I have my sources inzain?
>And?
            --Magdar a5abirk 3a bbm!
>W laish? :s
            --Cuz our messages can be tracked and this is a HUGE secret!

            Our messages can be tracked? Chaaih mno bay6ali3 her messages xD ? Chanh someone in etisalat is watching her convos. Obsession much?

>Tracked? =D
            --Aaaih it’s not funny! -,-
>Well it kinda is :p
>El mhm u wanna settle this over the phone? Wila can they track that as well? xD
            --Phone is fine -,-
>Aaaih just teasing honest o:)
            --Haaih haih just shut it a7sanlik don’t think I didn’t dig you up as well

            I raised my brow at that.

>You looked up my history?
>Laish inshalla? ;)
            --Ugghh guys walla dayman tafkeerkm 3’ala6 !
            --Ya3ni ur my best friend’s brother I have to know
>Umm awal mara asma3 hal kalam xD
>Ya3ni I’ve known many girls w I’ve heard endless stupid friendship rules and problems, but this is a first! :p
            --No it’s not!
            --You talk about friendships with other girls?
>Well no bas you know how girls tend to babble about their problems w as usual I have to endure it
            --Everyone has problems. Girls just like to talk about it
>Do you?
--This is going off topic. Do you need my number wila how is this going to work? Or don’t you wanna know about 3bdulla’s video? The one you DIDN’T know about? :D
>Laa2 3ndy ra8mch I’ll call you in 5 minutes
            --How do you have my number?
            --Wait wait, lemme guess: same way you got my pin?
>I have my sources ;)
            --Uggh just call and let’s get this over with!
>Ok

            She’s hilarious! 7asait I wanted to chat more weyaha w a3athibha shwaya :p Bas I wanted to hear her voice. For some strange reason…


To be continued…

Friday, July 29, 2011

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 34

Previously…

Nouf
I transferred the video onto my laptop and uploaded it on my blackberry. ‘Please let me be doing the right thing, and please don’t shoot me Asma. I’m sorry I didn’t show this to you sooner…’
           
Send file vid7790fft.3GP to contact Asamyyy?

I took in a deep breath. Well, here goes.

File sent!
________________


Asma

            I came back from the lake, my face glowing in glee. I wanted to savor this moment, to make it last forever. But of course, happiness isn’t a destination; it’s a mood. And my mood had changed drastically that night when I opened my blackberry.

>Hhhh Noufyy sho haa? :p
>Another video of your little brother pulling on your hair?
>What schemes has he been up to now? =))
            --Umm laa not my brother
            --Asma just open it
>Asma? Why did u call me asma is there something wrong?
            --Maybe…
>What :o What happened Noufyy tell me!
            --I’d rather you see the video. It explains enough
>Omg are you okay?
>Shostwaa?
>Are you hurt?
            --La laaa2 I’m fine asamy this isn’t about me!
>Shoo? 3yal who is it about :s
            --You

            I paused. Me? I really couldn’t see how on earth my life could get much worse than this. What could possibly add to my problems? I waited for her to explain, but it seemed that she wasn’t willing to offer anything. She wanted me to see the video. Hmmm… I clicked accept and the video started receiving.

>Noufyy what’s all this about?
            --Just watch
--When you’re.. uhh done with it.. ya3ni take your time 3adee bas know inh I’m right here 7bibty talk to me whenever you need to!
>What? Noufyy you’re sounding like someone died!
            --La la nobody died it’s just that… Uggghh just see it Allah ya5thch!
>Inzain it’s still receiving hady a39abech!
            --Sorry sorry I’m just really anxious about this
>Don’t worry I’ll look at it as soon as it receives
            --Okaay…
            --Bas watch it alone! Lat5aleen 7ad 3dalch especially not sul6an!

            Hhhhh she was so funny. Dayman eteeb 6ary Sul6an ya3ni ashkara she has a thing for him bas she’s too proud to admit that she likes a guy after all she’s been through mn the jerks who made her life miserable. It was so cute walla! Bas I couldn’t bring myself to ask Sul6an what he thought of her ya3ni maba atda5al ba3dain I ruin my chances of Noufyy being related to me. Imagine! Oooof I hope Sul6an sees everything that I see in her she's amazing walla and the perfect person to break through that male arrogance of his.

>DON’T worry Nouffy I’ll make SURE it’s not near Sul6an ;)
--Aaaaaih are you being sarcastic?! I can’t tell when you’re typing :’( Asoom it’s not funny walla!
>Hhhhh ok ok walla he won’t be near me I swear :p
            --You won’t be laughing after you watch this

            What does that mean?

***

File vid7790fft.3GP received!

            A7eena let’s see what all this fuss is about.
            I don’t know why my heart was drumming so hard against my chest, and I suddenly thought of 3bady. No, I’m probably overreacting. It’s probably… What could it be? I clicked play, my fingers shaking.

Me: “NADA?!”

            Nada used to be my best friend. My fake best friend. My history with her wasn’t a pleasant one. She made my life completely wretched. She used me to try to hook up with Sul6an, and she always made me buy her stuff that her parents refused to buy for her. Awal shay I didn’t see it; I thought she’d earnestly want something and I would feel bad and I would buy it for her; I like buying gifts for people. And then it went on. And on. And ON. It came up to a point where Sul6an told me, “Inty mb umha! She’s using you yal 3’abeya why can’t you see it?!” I had refused to believe him, told him not to talk about my best friend like that. But I was blind.
She started hooking up with all the guys I told her I liked. And sub7anallah, each and every one of them was ‘somehow’ related to her, and that made it ‘okay’ to ‘talk’ to them.
She gossiped so much about everyone that I often had second thoughts about whether she was doing the same thing behind my back. And guess what? She was.
When I found out about all the rumors she spread about me, I was filled with rage and shock. I remember thinking, ‘My BEST FRIEND? How could she?” But she did. She did much more. When I’d tried to confront her about everything, about her lies, she denied it all and said that I was trying to be someone I’m not w wayed ‘m9adga 3mry’.
And right after that, she turned the whole school against me. Right then, right there, was when I found out who my real friends were.
I eventually forgave her and moved on; so has she. But it’s not like I trust her or like her. Ya3ni 5ala9 whatever I didn’t wanna give her control over me and I don’t hold grudges for long. And life goes on.
Only now I see that it didn’t.
The one guy I had prayed who wouldn’t fall for her tricks, apparently did. She knew about him, about how I’ve longed for him all these years, watching him from under my eyes as he passed by, not noticing me. That was the biggest mistake I ever did, telling her. And now I could see why. But I wouldn’t blame her for this. It was his choice.
            Tears sprung up my eyes, and the grip of my hand tightened around my blackberry in pure wrath. My heart hurt like it had its own soul, and that soul was being stripped out of it in slow degrees. I was too taken aback to be able to register what I was seeing properly, to feel the pain that I knew was waiting to hit me. I just stood with my phone; my eyes blurred, my heart trembling, my angered grip threatening to crush my phone in my very hand.
            It was 3bdulla. With Nada. INSIDE her own house!
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This must be photo-shopped! I knew 3bdulla had a history, but he would never do this! ‘Of course he would, you dumb shit.’ I heard a voice in my head speak. Then I heard another voice. Nada. Her painful words were being recapped in my head, making my heart skip several beats at a time as I recalled the last time we fought. It was such a long time ago, but her wounds stuck around. Until now, apparently.
‘Hhhhh, a9lan you will never find someone. Mno ybach? Inty?! Hal wayh?! 6a3y shaklch bas, I’m surprised 3yoony ma7tirgat until now. I am desired, all the guys surrender to my charms. You are nothing. Fa don’t try to tell me wain mkanty, yom mkantch 3nd el nas WALA SHAY. Nothing. Hahahaha, and you thought S3eed liked you? Or 5alid? Or la la, a7la wa7ed sima3teh yet, 3bdulla? Hunn, your cousin has seen so many beauties that you won’t even be spared two glances. Next time, go for guys at YOUR level. He doesn’t deserve you, GOD Allah y3een el a3ma ela baya5thch as a wife. It will probably be forced on him elain ma he accepts. Hahahahahaa…’
“Why…”
I heard myself whisper.
I watched the video as he smiled an unfamiliar smile, and then his eyes gleamed with lust. He moved over her as she lowered herself onto the cushions, and he kissed her neck. He slowly moved up to her lips, and I couldn’t mistake the French kiss she gave him as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Then he kissed her everywhere.
The phone slipped through the vibrating tips of my fingers. I heard a light thump on the ground.
I couldn’t watch any more.
My wavy sight blurred even more as tears dived down in a continuous flow.
My hands were quivering, my unsteady legs threatening to give me away to the hard surface of the floor.
I heard voices calling my name, but they seemed so distant, so far away from me. I felt cold as I fell on the floor and wept, my head tucked into my knees, my arms encircling myself, the only comfort I could ever hope to get. Because nobody would know what he had done to me. Not even him. Nobody would see how much he had just shattered me. Nobody would pity me. Not even me.
I heard several bangs on my door, and then a crashing noise. Then, I sensed something moving towards me. I ignored it as if I hadn’t felt it. A large form loomed over me, casting a slight shadow. It bent down, and I heard clicking noises, and the tormenting voices from the video were silenced. Large arms picked me up and hugged my small body, and I cried onto Sul6an’s familiar chest as he held me in hushed stillness.
            I vaguely heard him say, “7sabk 3ndy…” before I dozed off, the pain sending me into a quiet siesta.


To be continued…

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 33


Previously…

Asma
3bdulla: “So what do I get in return?”

I pretended to think for a moment.

Me: “I’ll give you the memories of the best summer you’ve ever had.”

3bdulla: “Hmmm…”

Me: “Aaaih ba3ad sho tbaa!”

He grinned at me. I slapped some sand in his direction, and he laughed, hypnotizing me.

3bdulla: “Nothing 7beebty, I could ask for nothing more…”
­­­­­­__________________


Asma

            I felt happy. Maybe this summer won’t be too bad, as long as we don’t run into him. I sneaked out of our bungalow, not bothering to call for a golf car. I liked to walk, especially in this weather. I got my red louis vuitton shawl just incase it got a little cold. When I reached the lake, I saw that the little dinner set up in the middle of it was in fact occupied. And lit up. I squinted my eyes, trying to see who was there, and I could make out two older people laughing together. They were so adorable. I sat there and watched them as the man asked his wife to dance in the midst of the lake with no music. My eyes watered at the lovely sight of their affection. ‘Someday,’ I told myself, ‘Someday, I will have someone to hold me like that, to look at me and no one else…’ I looked up at the sky. ‘I know You have someone in store for me. I just know it. I’ll find a way to get through this, and hopefully out of it.’
            I gasped lightly as I felt someone sit beside me. I smiled.

Me: “Hii 3bady.”

3bdulla: “Halla Asoomah, knt 7as inch batkoonen ehnee.”

Me: “Yaa? W kaif 3raft?”

3bdulla: “Because I see you come here every night, even if just for 5 minutes.”

            My eyes enlarged.

Me: “You followed me?”

            A low chuckle. I smiled at that.

3bdulla: “Laaa2, well maybe… I come every night too, hoping to see you here. I know how much you love the lake.”

            Awww.

3bdulla: “I’ve seen you dance, cry, sing, laugh, smile… Have I ever mentioned how much I love watching you?”

            I was blushing profusely.

Me: “Yalla 3ad 3n el mjamala I don’t dance THAT well. And you shouldn’t be watching me! 3aib 3alaik mat5af mn rabk?”

3bdulla: “You’re beautiful. How could I resist taking a peek?”

            I was silent. My heart thumped against my chest. Beautiful. Didn’t it mean something when a guy said that?

Me: “Hhhhh, bas no more haa! I don’t wanna stop coming here just because of you.”

3bdulla: “So take me with you.”

            I sensed another meaning behind his words. But I didn’t know what he meant exactly.

Me: “I can’t…”

3bdulla: “Laish?”

Me: “Because we live in reality, and reality has consequences.”

3bdulla: “We don’t have to live there…”

Me: “But we still do.”

            I smiled as we mimicked the words from our little encounter at the kitchen.

Me: “Btw… did you ‘take a peek’ that night in our kitchen?”

            He paused for too long, and his muscles slightly tensed. My mouth dropped.

Me: “I KNEW IT! Yal 7mar 3aib 3alaaik matist7ee 3a wayhk?”

            He seemed mortified, but when he saw the amusement in my eyes, he laughed.

Me: “Haha, God knows how you still find me beautiful. I was a COMPLETE mess!”

            I drowned my head into my hands as I hid my blush. I really was a complete mess that night x.x

3bdulla: “You will always be beautiful to me.”

            I peeked through my fingers and smiled at the emotion that flowed in his eyes. He was so sweet, even though people say that he had a history and was inconsiderate of anyone’s feelings but his. I felt a change in him, and I didn’t want this summer to end. I didn’t want to go back to Dubai, where my future was always unpredictable. I’ll never know when he decides to have the wedding, and I was very much afraid that it would be before I graduated. Or at the beginning of my college years. I didn’t want any of this; I don’t want to get married! I’m still young; I want to live my life like any normal teenager would. ‘But you’re not any normal teenager’ I said to myself. I was a teenager whose life was ruined.


Nouf

            I couldn’t keep it from her anymore. I made a whole mess of my room until I found my old phone. This phone may seem worthless and kachra on the outside, but inside it were so many blackmail pictures, videos, messages etc. and it was time I revealed one particular video that has been kept hidden for too long.
            She bbm’ed me everyday, and talked about her ‘adventures’ with 3bdulla and how much he was amazing and bla bla bla. Basically she was drooling all over him. 5ala9. Hatha 7adh. Nobody messes with my best friend. And I wasn’t about to make an exception for him. He turned her into his puppet, or even worse, one of his Barbie dolls! It was time she found out who he really was. Knowing Asma, if she doesn’t stay away from him any time soon, she’ll be stuck with his memory for the rest of her life. And I can’t let him do that to her. Not if I can help it. I transferred the video onto my laptop and uploaded it on my blackberry. ‘Please let me be doing the right thing, and please don’t shoot me Asma. I’m sorry I didn’t show this to you sooner…’
           
Send file vid7790fft.3GP to contact Asamyyy?

            I took in a deep breath. Well, here goes.

File sent!


To be continued…

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 32


Previously…

Asma
I watched my brother drive off with the other car as he disappeared into the street. And then I realized that he left me. With him! He freaking left me! I was gonna kill him when I reached home.
I turned to face a very hesitant 3bdulla, but there was something sheepish about his expression.

Me: “Did you know about this?!”
_______________


Asma

I sounded harsher than I had intended. He narrowed his eyes at me.

Me: “Ufff la ta36eeni hal na6’ra!”

3bdulla: “I don’t know about you but I think you pretty much deserve more than just ‘hal na6’ra’”

            I glared at him.

Me: “Chub! Bas inchub yal 7mar! I can’t stand the sight of you. You disgust me! You don’t deserve an explanation, no you don’t even deserve-“

3bdulla: “Asma!”

            I blinked as he shut my babbled mouth.

3bdulla: “I'm sorry.”

            I widened my eyes.

Me: “Excuse me? Ma sima3t, sho gelt?”

            He saw a faint smile curling up my cheeks. He frowned as he repeated his words through gritted teeth.

3bdulla: “I said… I was… sorry… Ha happy?”

            My smile disappeared.

Me: “Ohh so you’re just saying that to shut me up?”

3bdulla: “Laa2 laa2, uffff walla girls have to interpret everything wrong! Asma, I was angry, I didn’t know what I was saying much less what I was hearing. I thought… I thought that you and he…”

Me: “Uffff of course not 3bdulla how could you think that! Did you even see my face when you found me?”

            A scowl covered his face as he recalled the scene in his mind. After a long pause, he answered me.

3bdulla: “Yes I did. A little too clearly I might add.”

Me: “I forgot to thank you. I don’t know what would have happened if-“

3bdulla: “Well it didn’t. We don’t need to evaluate it any further.”

            I stayed quiet. I didn’t know what to say.

3bdulla: “Asma, what did he do to you?”

            He saw the fear climb up into my eyes at the reminder of this painful memory that had happened long ago. He still persisted.

3bdulla: “Why are you afraid of him?”

Me: “Please stop…”

3bdulla: “Please try to tell me… I want to help you…”

Me: “Well you can’t! No one can. Not anymore… I just have to accept this and deal with it. I have no other choice.”

3bdulla: “Yes you do asma, you can fight back. And I’ll fi-“

            Just when I thought he would say, ‘I’ll fight with you’ he paused. He looked torn. He couldn’t tell me that. Because he wouldn’t do it. I knew it. I knew all along.

Me: “But you can’t, can you?”

            He paused, and that itself was answer enough.

3bdulla: “Asma it doesn’t matter, you can still-“

Me: “No I can’t, 3bdulla. My future is sealed. I’m alone in this, and there’s nothing I can do about it. There was never anything I could do about it.”

3bdulla: “What do you mean?”

            I sighed as I sat on the soft sand, curling my toes deep inside. He sat with me, not too close though, so that the driver doesn’t ‘report’ anything to Sul6an. I took in a deep breath.

Me: “Rashid was engaged to me from birth.”

3bdulla: “WHAT?”

Me: “Let me finish. My mother remarried after her husband had died. She married Sul6an’s dad as his second wife, bas Allah 5athaha when she gave birth to me. I never knew I was Sul6an’s half sister until I was old enough for them to tell me about my real mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love my stepmother, and she loves me just as her own. But she couldn’t take away the promise my mom gave Rashid’s parents when I was still in her womb. My birth mother sealed my future, ruined my life before I was even born! She knew Rashid’s dad was rich, and she wanted to make sure I had a promising life. I think she unconsciously felt that something was going to happen to her, and she felt the need to make the arrangement so that she could be at peace with herself. Only, nobody knew about this or mentioned anything, until last year.”

3bdulla: “Wasn’t it two years ago?”

            I widened my eyes at him.

3bdulla: “Don’t ask…”

Me: “Two years ago, the ‘salfa’ happened with Rashid, which eventually led him to be forced to bring forth our arranged marriage to save his father’s reputation. He made a huge scandal, and it could only be covered if it were said that we were already engaged. And there it was, my mother’s signature, the solution to all their problems. And they got away with it too. They can do whatever they please, and nobody can do anything about it.”

            I felt tears invading my sight, blurring my vision. I turned away from him, rubbing my eyes, cursing my weakness. After a long moment, he finally spoke.

3bdulla: “Asma, I wish…”

Me: “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. Actually, I would very much prefer it if we ended this subject. I just really needed to let it out, you know?”

            He nodded silently.

Me: “I know you’re going to NYU. I hope you make us all proud. Go and make something of yourself. Build your future. You have so much to look forward to in life, you’ll have a good job, and you’ll find a wi-”

            My voice busted. I froze when I realized what I was just about to say. The tears came right back up. I shook them away, and tried to sound strong as I continued speaking.

Me: “You deserve it. You don’t deserve me. My life is in shambles. Just because I have to go through this doesn’t mean that you should. You’ll be great at whatever it is you decide to do. I know it. You're too damned arrogant not to be :p”

            We both laughed at that statement, and the air was suddenly lighter. I felt so much better, talking to 3bdulla about this. Who knew I would find comfort in the place I least expected. I smiled at that thought.

3bdulla: “I missed that smile…”

            The blush came right up.

3bdulla: “Hhhhh, and your sweet blush…”

Me: “I missed you…”

3bdulla: “You know I would have done anything to break this, but I won’t be here… and by the time I’m back-”

Me: “Inshalla I’ll still be unmarried. It’s okay; you don’t need to give me a reason. I have no doubt that you would have done all you could. But I guess it’s not written for you. For us…”

3bdulla: “No…”

            He sighed.

Me: “Listen, I don’t want my last summer with you to be ruined. Let’s just make the best out of this. Give me something nice to look back on…”

            He smiled.

3bdulla: “And what about me?”

            His voice hinted with laughter.

Me: “Hmmmm…”

3bdulla: “Aaaih don’t be selfish 3ad!”

            I laughed as he shoved some sand in my direction.

Me: “Hahahah, stop it aaaih!”

3bdulla: “So what do I get in return?”

            I pretended to think for a moment.

Me: “I’ll give you the memories of the best summer you’ve ever had.”

3bdulla: “Hmmm…”

Me: “Aaaih ba3ad sho tbaa!”

            He grinned at me. I slapped some sand in his direction, and he laughed, hypnotizing me.

3bdulla: “Nothing 7beebty, I could ask for nothing more…”


To be continued…