Beneath Guarded Hearts - 74

Previously…

3alya

I strode off with purposeful steps, enraged as I rushed to my car. I had to get to Sul6an. I had to see him and make sure he was okay. I don’t know why my eyes started to water, but I blinked my tears away and hit the gas. No time for tears or regrets; Sul6an needed me.

_________________

Sul6an

            I heard vague noises, a melodic chattering ringing into my consciousness. It was still dark, but my mind was awakening. Who was behind that sweet voice? I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t find the strength to do it. If I could stare at myself right now, I’d spit in my own face. How could I be so weak? Flashes of red haunted me, and her poisonous lips kept fading in and out of the darkness, playing hide and seek, teasing my anger. I wanted to burn that image out of my head, but there was no one there to help me light the match. My eyes suddenly opened.

I was awake. There was a white light. It blinded me at first, and I stared into nothingness. But slowly I started to form the shapes around me. Now, the melodious chatter turned into an agonizing riot. Why couldn’t they just stop talking? My eyes lost focus again, and my eyelids started to coat my sight, when a voice made me pause.

“Sul6an?”

            Who was the person behind this beguiling voice?

“Sul6an, wake up…”

            Her words drifted away, but I hadn’t had enough of this mysterious person. I was still hungry for her soothing harmony as darkness raided my pounding cranium, having shown me a piece of heaven I could never have. And then there was nothing.

3alya

Me: “Sul6an?”

            His eyes hung low, his long lashes shadowing his focus. I was loosing him again.

Me: “Sul6an, wake up…”

            He was gone again. I sighed deeply. This was his third day in the hospital, and he only woke up twice, including today. Did he know that I was here with him? Did he hear my voice when I talked to him at night, when I whispered goodnight and kissed his forehead? Yet in a way, I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t want him to know that he had won my heart over, because then I would loose. And 3alya never lost.

            My eyes watered as I looked at him, his chest bare with all kinds of wires attached to him.

Me: “What on earth happened to you?”

            I whispered into the air. I felt a shift of movements behind me, but I ignored it.

“You did.”

            I spun my head with abrupt swiftness, startled by the condemning tone, and looked into the scrutiny of Rashid’s eyes. I glowered at him in confusion. He merely shook his head and held up his phone, the picture of my kissing pose popping out of the screen. I stared. So it had reached to him.

Me: “I was getting revenge. He insulted me.”

            His eyebrows pressed together as he looked at me, his expression blank with eyes of gleaming fire.

Rashid: “I see you went for the kill.”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Rashid: “He was looking at this picture right before the truck hit him.”

            I stared at him in shock. Was I going to be the center of their lies again?

Me: “I can’t believe you’d make up such a thing.”

Rashid: “I didn’t make it up.”

Me: “And how would you know what he was looking at?”

            His expression changed, and although he maintained a stiff composure, he clenched his fists silently and stared at me. He glanced at Sul6an and then looked back at me. His fingers relaxed and fell lazily, and his eyes watered a slight before he blinked them dry.

Rashid: “Because I’m the one who sent it to him.”

Asma

            I stood in the midst of a hill of white crystals, my body half drowned in the snow as I laughed at my accidental turn out of the main slope.

3bdulla: “What in the world are you doing?”

            I rambled out my reply between each laugh, and I fell sideways and found my whole body buried under a coat of powdered slush. I was still laughing when his arms reached down and pulled me up gently, lowering my facemask and planting a kiss on my lips.

3bdulla: “You’re crazy.”

Me: “Ah, but don’t look at me. I warned you it wouldn’t be easy being married to me.”

3bdulla: “And I married you anyway.”

            He smiled and brushed off the snow that rested on my clothes and helmet.

Damion: “You two okay?”

3bdulla: “Yeah, we’re cool Domino, my wife just seems to love her falls.”

Damion: “Haha! I’ve noticed that, now let’s get going! I think a blizzard is about to hit soon.”

3bdulla: “We’re right behind you.”

            As he left, I whispered to 3bady.

Me: “His name is Damion, not Domino!”

            He shrugged.

3bdulla: “Domino sounds better, so I’ll call him Domino.”

            I rolled my eyes at him and shoved him aside gently as I pushed my skis forward.

Me: “3bady, stop slacking off and get moving!”

            I shouted from behind me, feeling his challenging smile on my back as I heard deep slashes of ski on snow coming after me.

Damion: “Be careful you two! Looks like there’s a little wind, we’ll just have to be a little more careful!”

3bdulla: “What?”

Me: “I didn’t hear him either, let’s try to get within hearing distance.”

            My words were silenced by the biting wind that followed, slapping needles of snow onto my face. I quickly covered my mouth and nose with my facemask and turned to look for 3bdulla, but all I saw was an endless riot of pure white. I screamed out his name, but my words were soundless whispers hushed by the wind. I couldn’t see anything, and my skis suddenly picked up speed, unaware of the slope’s steep transition. I pushed deep into the snow with a hard, parallel break. I searched frantically for any sign of 3bdulla or Damion, but saw none.

The ruthless winds blew harder. I could almost feel its piercing ends slashing right through my clothes, and to my horror, my skis started to move, the whirlwind too strong and my weight too light to keep me in place. I was being shoved towards the end of the cliff. I threw my whole body onto the fine, fresh snow that fell nonstop on the steep slope, and I tucked my head between my arms and started praying. I was lost in the middle of a snowstorm, and I had no idea where I was or what to do about it.

To be continued…

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 73

Previously…

3alya

He wants a battle? Well he’ll get one. I fished out my bronzer and red lipstick, adding the final touches to my make-up, and not to merely cheer myself up anymore. It was time I took this unjust correlation to another level. It was time for payback.

____________

Sul6an

            A whole day had passed since I sent the text, and no reply. No sign of 3alya. I sighed heavily. Images of her deep eyes sneaked into my head, her pink cheeks, the thick locks of her fringe that curved in a messy crescent just beneath her shaila… that one rare moment when she actually smiled…

           

“Sul6an… Sul6aaan!”

I blinked. Why couldn’t I get her out of my head?

Me: “Haa sho?”

3wash: “What is up with you today? The least you could do is pretend like you actually care about your family.”

            And here we go again, typical 3wash. Always seizing the moment to embarrass me or prove me wrong whenever she could. I flashed a smile at her.

Me: “Of course I care, just not about you.”

            She knew I was teasing her of course. Our little rivalry might have settled down, but that didn’t mean that I still didn’t have fun mocking her. I got up and excused myself, slipping my phone into the pocket of my kandoora. As was expected, she followed my tracks.

3wash: “Yalla spill. Who is she?”

            My shoulders stiffened for a mere second before I forced myself to relax. I took in one breath, a long pause, and I finally replied.

Me: “There was and always will be only one ‘she’ in my life, and we both well know that she’s long gone.”

            I continued all the way through the hallway without looking back, and I picked up my car keys and drove off.

            Just when I was about to check my phone, it buzzed and started blinking. I had a message from Rashid, for some reason. After I found out what he had done for my sister, I had thanked him for being the brother I always knew him to be. And then of course, I beat him for not telling me about it. I smiled and opened his chat.

            He sent me a picture and wrote in the comment: I’m so sorry.

            I opened it. I was mesmerized. She was posing, her eyes shut and her red lips rounded into a kiss as she blew into the camera. A figure stood next to her, his white clothing contrasting with her opaque, black 3abaya. His face didn’t show, but there was a strong arm curled around her lower back, resting on her waist. I stared at her for a long time before I took it all in, and I blinked into reality. I hit a sudden break in the middle of the highway, and not moments later I felt the door crush into me, cracking the bones in my left arm. My head was spinning as the deformed body parts of my car blended into a new shape. I only saw a flash of a robust truck as sparks of firelight ignited beneath the friction of its tires, and then I saw nothing. I only saw her face, the bright red of her full lips curving into a smile, fading into the blackness. My brain was numbed as unconsciousness won me over.

3 days later…

3alya

            Baba received me in my old bedroom, a place that reeked with my childhood memories. No matter how much I was determined to put my past behind me, my room was bold reminder that it had all happened and would never go away. My tears were embedded into these walls, my hopes and fears floating in the air about us, and traces of my mother’s compassion lingered in the corners. He finally spoke, breaking me free of these chains of locked memories that roamed freely in this room.

Baba: “Inte mafeech 5air?”

            I stared at him, confused. I was used to his demeaning comments, but his face seemed anxious, almost worried.

Me: “Sho?”

            He sighed heavily as the features of his face slackened, making him appear older.

Baba: “Sul6an got into an accident, and your only response was to continue partying night after night? You didn’t even bother visiting him, you selfish, ungrateful girl! I’m trying to help you regain your status, and this is what you do to me?!”

Me: “P- Party?”

Baba: “Your pictures have reached me, 3alya. This is the last straw. I-”

            My brain processed all his information. I gasped, automatically standing up.

Me: “Sul6an? Accident?!”

Baba: “PLEASE, drop the act. 9idg mafeeni. E7mdy rabch he even considered taking you in the beginning. Now all your chances are ruined! You were supposed to seduce him! What use are you making of your mother’s beauty? It’s all gone to waste!”

            The mention of my mother grabbed my attention again, stealing away my worried thoughts as my hand loosened its grip on my car keys.

Me: “Don’t you ever speak about mama like that again. She was never your item to show off to everyone, never your right to boss around as you willed. Look what has become of us! It’s all your doing, not mine! And my status is perfectly fine, I don’t need YOU to tell me what my worth is!”

            I strode off with purposeful steps, enraged as I rushed to my car. I had to get to Sul6an. I had to see him and make sure he was okay. I don’t know why my eyes started to water, but I blinked my tears away and hit the gas. There was no time for tears; Sul6an needed me.

To be continued…

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 72

Previously…

3alya

I shut the door in his face, and with it I shut away what was probably my last opportunity to seduce him. I couldn’t do it, not like this, and certainly not in this state. How could my father abandon me like that? I fell on my bed and wept silently, and after a minute or two, I heard Sul6an’s footsteps descending away from the door.

Me: “Don’t pretend that you care!”

I hissed fiercely under my snuffle. I had no one left. My only family remaining had abandoned me.

_____________

Asma

            Apparently, 3bady had rented a whole lodge just for us. Our own instructor, our own chef, our own everything! He even bought me my own ski equipment when I was looking around the shops the other day as we went into town. I smiled at him and shook my head.

Me: “If you keep spoiling me like this, I might just get used to it.”

3bdulla: “Et3awiday 7bibty, because I'm going to spoil you for the rest of your life.”

            I blushed and giggled lightly. How I loved him dearly, how I wondered so many times how I could be so fortunate.

Switzerland was absolutely mesmerizing. 3bdulla stopped letting me go to Ski Dubai because – and in all fairness he had a point – the guys there were immature and complete flirts. Not that anyone paid me any attention, but you know how husbands are, those over-protective paranoid little beings. I missed Ski Dubai; I missed the speed, the adrenaline rush as I travelled down at full speed, and how my eyes watered from the cold breeze slapping my face.

But Switzerland was a different place entirely. It was real, and the best part about it was that we were alone, and we could goof around all we wanted without any public stares or judgmental whispers. How I loved the freedom! After a week of skiing, 3bdulla said he would take me to Geneva and then we would fly somewhere else. Yes, another surprise awaited me. I shook my head again.

Me: “So, what’s on today’s schedule?”

            His lips twitched into a deceiving smile.

3bdulla: “The instructor says you’re ready. We’re going on the black slope.”

            I broadened my eyes in absolute delight.

Me: “Liar! Are we really?!”

            He nodded, that arrogant smile still taped on his face.

3bdulla: “Now tell me, don’t you just love me?”

            I rolled my eyes at him. He approached me slowly, his expression ‘awanh’ serious. He looked right into my eyes and gently cupped my cheeks with his hands.

3bdulla: “Say it.”

            He whispered it so low that I almost didn’t hear him. My heart started to erupt, and my eyes glowed as I stared right back at him. There was something in his expression, something deep that drifted beneath the livid blueness of his stunning eyes.

            I smiled.

Me: “I love you.”

            His eyes illuminated right before he brushed his lips on mine with a fierce kiss, and he murmured something into my ears, his hot breath tickling my sensations.

3bdulla: “You have no idea how happy you make me, Asma.”

            I blushed violently as he wrapped an arm around me and lead me towards the boot room, enjoying the warmth of being in his embrace. My pulse quickened in anticipation as I remembered the adrenaline blast that awaited me…

My heartbeat sped a little too rapidly, and I swallowed down a nauseous lump in my throat and held in my breath, trying not to make any of it evident to 3bdulla. I was finally getting my chance to ski on the black slope, and I wasn’t going to let some nervous stomach get in my way. It’ll pass soon enough, as it always did. Yet this time felt a little different altogether… were these knots in my stomach merely a nervous reaction to my anticipation? Or could it be…

Sul6an

            It was stupid of me to invade her privacy like that, yet I couldn’t seem to help myself. I was absolutely infuriated at myself, even more so because she had basically spit in my face and told me to get lost when I was offering her an open shoulder. How stupid of me indeed. And that is what happens when a person tries to be nice. I’ll never make that mistake again. Ever.

            My phone started to blink and I went to check my messages. I stiffened when I saw her name.

From: 3alya (Mobile)

I’m sorry about yesterday, forget it ever happened

            I clenched my fingers into a fist around my phone. Forget it ever happened? After what she did? I let out a bitter laugh. I typed vigorously and sent my reply before I could change my mind. This was war.

3alya

            I took out my make up bag and emptied out all of its contents. Nothing had ever made me feel better more than dressing up did. Even as a little girl, I remember wearing my mom’s heels and trying on some of her make up without her knowledge. I remember how I had to tuck my nose up so that her massive sunglasses wouldn’t fall off of my elfin face, and I remember stumbling as I tried to walk the way she did with such poise. My mother was an extraordinary woman, so beautiful, so intelligent, and so elegant in many ways, especially in her manner of dealing with people. I could never even hope to be the kind of woman she was. I felt a lump rise up my throat as I remembered her, her arms safely surrounding me, telling me that no matter what happened, Allah was always with me and that I would not be afraid if I truly believed so.

            I shoved away my unpleasant memories; thinking about the possibility of having the chance to have a good life had she lived was unbearable. But life was cruel. I was left with the vampire who sucked the life out of me little by little after my mother had passed away. My father would never be the same.

            My phone vibrated, and I blinked, returning back to reality. It was probably him. My heart shook as I opened the message.

From: Sul6an (Mobile)

I’m not even close to being done with you

            I stared at his text for what seemed hours, questioning what he could possibly mean. What did he mean? Did he mean it in a good way or a bad way?

            I put my phone down and stared at my reflection in mirror. Did I just ask myself that question? But of course he meant it in a bad way. I was exasperated by how he was messing up my judgments. He wants a battle? Well he’ll get one. I fished out my bronzer and red lipstick, adding the final touches to my make-up, and not to merely cheer myself up anymore. It was time I took this unjust correlation to another level. It was time for payback.

To be continued…

Beneath Guarded Hearts - 71

Previously…

3bdulla

Asma: “Chaih when are we leaving?”

Me: “Monday.”

She didn’t even answer me, she only widened her eyes, and I could tell from her expression that she was doing some ‘calculations’ in her head. She dug out her phone and dialed the keys vigorously.

Asma: “Alo?! NOUFYY! We need to go emergency shopping!”

______________

Sul6an

            I looked at her glowing face one last time before 3bdulla took her in his arms and dragged her away.

Asma: “BYEE SUL6AAN!”

            I smiled back and waved at her. She finally had the life she deserved. I turned around and headed back to the car.

I groaned. Just a couple more months, I told myself, and this will all be over.

3alya: “Laish et2a5art?”

            I clenched my fists.

Me: “Chaih maroom awade3 e5ty? Enchuby yalla, mb gaylinch la tirmiseen? You’re seriously asking for it, tbain tin6’irbain inshalla?!”

            She widened her eyes in shock and her jaw dropped. I had clenched my fists one too many times, and I was tired of tolerating her. Enough was enough.

Me: “Put on your seatbelt.”

            She gave me a ridiculous look and waited for an explanation.

Me: “Uff just do it. Asma 7shratny elain mat3awadt, so just suck it up and deal with it.”

            She raised one brow and turned away, finally obeying me.

Me: “W next time yom agoolch tsaween shay, you better shut your mouth and do it; I don’t owe you any explanation.”

3alya: “La? You think you own me now just because of your deal with Ahmad? Ha! E7lim zyadh.”

            I looked at her awkwardly. Since when did a daughter call her father by his first name?

Me: “Ti89ideen obooch?”

            She faced away and stared out the window.

3alya: “He’s not my father anymore.”

            I felt a sudden urge to ask her why, but it was none of my business. She would probably scold me or insult me in return. Why did I have so much concern for her? It bothered me severely; here was the woman who helped cause a lot of problems for my sister, and I felt nothing but curious about her. What was her background? How had she grown up as a child? What were her hopes and fears? Why did she live alone?

            I blinked away my unpleasant thoughts and drove away, and the ride was filled with an uncomfortable silence until we reached her house. I sat waiting for her to leave, until I realized that she had accidentally fallen asleep.

Me: “3alya, Goomy wi9alna..”

            She didn’t respond.

Me: “3alya.. Get up..”

            I didn’t want to touch her, but I reluctantly held up a finger and nudged her shoulder lightly. She was so tiny.

3alya: “Hmm?”

Me: “Goomy wi9al-”

            When she opened her eyes, all I saw were red contours hiding beneath a watery blur, and tears slowly slid down her face. She quickly wiped away her eyes and left the car. I remained still in my seat, staring at her back as she hurried into her house. And that was the first time I had ever seen 3alya in such a vulnerable position. I don’t know what it was that made me get out of my car and walk towards her door, but I found myself standing on top of her porch and ringing the doorbell impatiently. Her mysterious maid answered and frowned at me, saying that it was a very bad time. I shoved through her and ran up the stairs until I was standing idly in front of her bedroom door. I didn’t know what I was doing, or why I was doing it for the matter, but before I could gather up my sanity and turn back around, she opened the door and I heard her gasp under her breath. I stared into her puffy eyes as I stood face to face with a completely different 3alya.

Me: “Can I come in?”

3alya

            I heard quick, harsh footsteps on the wooden parquet of the hallway that gradually curved and lead to my room. I stood by the door and listened. Could it be him? I shook my head at myself. He hated me; how could he even give me the slightest hint of care? And how could I hope for it? I didn’t really hope for it, but he was the first guy who looked at me with so much hate in his eyes, with so much bitterness in his biting words. I wanted to make him fall in love with me and break him inside out. I hated the fact that he won his way with ba- I mean Ahmad. And he was just such a ridiculous person to deal with that I couldn’t control my temper around him. He made me so angry, but I had to admit; I wanted him when we first met all those months ago in my majlis. I had never seen someone with such fine bone structure, such a well-built body… and such a beautiful smile. A smile he had never once directed at me, unless he was being bitterly sarcastic. I know I could only avenge my pride if I swallowed it in the beginning and tried to be nice, but even trying to have a normal conversation with him was impossible! He was so arrogant to the point that I couldn’t stand it.

            I opened the door.

I told myself to breathe, but my lungs wouldn’t function. How could I let him see me like this? I didn’t realize that I wasn’t breathing until I had to gasp for some air. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his. He gave me a look I had never seen before. Was it… was it concern? His voice broke into my thoughts.

Sul6an: “Can I come in?”

            Was this really happening? I wanted to shut the door in his face, but an idea held me back from doing so. I could use this opportunity to work my magic on him. He wasn’t being disagreeable at the moment, which was to my advantage. But I honestly didn’t feel like putting up an act when I felt so depressed. How could baba be okay with me being placed in such a situation? How is it that Sul6an, of all people, is at my door, asking me if he could come in? And why was I so speechless?

            I frowned, angered at myself. How could I let him come this far, or even see this much? What happened to the strong-willed 3alya who had a response for everything and didn’t take no for an answer? I looked up and directed my frown at him.

Me: “Gom 3an wayhy.”

            I shut the door in his face, and with it I shut away what was probably my last opportunity to seduce him. I couldn’t do it, not like this, and certainly not in this state. How could my father abandon me like that? I fell on my bed and wept silently, and after a minute or two, I heard Sul6an’s footsteps descending away from the door.

Me: “Don’t pretend that you care!”

            I hissed fiercely under my snuffle. I had no one left. My only family remaining had abandoned me.

To be continued…