Beneath Guarded Hearts - 84

Previously…

Sul6an

Me: “Rashood? What’s going on with you?”

His face was hard and his fingers slightly dug into his palms.

Rashid: “Mashay.”

Me: “Rashid…”

I blazed a warning tone in my voice and he seemed to give up. He sighed heavily as his shoulders slumped, and for once the rigidness left his stiff back.

Rashid: “I still love her.”

__________________

Asma

            I lifted my fisted hand, about to knock the door to Sul6oon’s majlis to ask him if Rashid was mad at me, when I heard the four words that chilled the air in a dreadful silence.

Rashid: “I still love her.”

            I paused, my heart thumping hard against my chest. Confusion rippled through my brain as I searched for clues that could have made this statement possible, but found none. How could he love me? Wasn’t his role a mere façade to protect me? And what did he see in me? There were girls far prettier than I ever was, and he was extremely handsome. He could get any girl he wanted if he put in the effort and turned on his charm. He almost had me, if it weren’t for 3bdulla… I whispered to myself unconsciously. I clasped my palm over my lips in outrage. What did I just admit? Did I really even like him that way? I took two steps back and fled, afraid to hear any more. Maybe he wasn’t talking about me. Maybe I was just overthinking the whole thing. After all, I didn’t listen to the entire conversation. Yes, that must be it. I knew he loved someone, though. I knew it because he was so indifferent to consider the list of girls I had offered him when I tried to help him with his situation with his father. Maybe I can still offer some help. After all, I owe him so much I don’t even know where to begin. I turned around and knocked the door, this time a little more composed.

Sul6an: “Mno?!”

            Why did he sound angry?

Me: “Umm ana…”

Sul6an: “Come back later, we’re busy.”

            I sighed, knowing he would become angrier if I persisted. I would have to talk to Rashid another time, maybe when Sul6an wasn’t around. I made a mental note of it as I made my way to 3wash’s room, and the question I was supposed to ask Sul6an in the first place was forgotten.

Sul6an

            As soon as I heard Asma’s well-known footsteps descend away from the door, I turned my quizzical eyes back to Rashid.

Me: “I assume you’re not referring to my sister, am I correct?”

            He paused, as if unsure if the answer he gave me would be rewarded with a fist on his face. He replied reluctantly, almost appearing miserable.

Rashid: “No, not Asma. You know who I’m talking about.”

            I relaxed a little, my instincts once again proving to be correct.

Me: “Yes I do.”

Rashid: “Asma reminds me of her so much, the similarities are startling. Sometimes I feel like she is talking to me, looking at me through Asma’s eyes.”

            I spoke a little softer this time.

Me: “Rashid. She’s gone.”

            He sighed heavily and buried his face in his palms.

Rashid: “I know. I know she belongs to someone else, but she isn’t happy. I just know it!”

Me: “That’s not your concern. She made her decision.”

            He remained silent and slumped down on one of the sofas. He knew I was right. But only today did I realize how much he hated himself for not being able to let go. As if he had read my exact thoughts, he whispered with a despondent face.

Rashid: “When does it end?”

I sighed.

Me: “Lord knows. I’ll tell you when I find out.”

            He gave me a weak smile.

Rashid: “Still having nightmares about 3alya?”

Me: “No matter how hard I try, I can’t get her out of my head. How did we both end up with such heartless bitches?”

            He stretched his arms and leaned back in a deceivingly calm manner.

Rashid: “Serves us right, we played with more girls than I can begin to count.”

Me: “Oh shut up, we’re GUYS. At some point in our lives, we’re gonna chase after girls whether we like it or not. It’s not our fault. I’m just glad I got it out of my system in my earlier years.”

Rashid: “And you’re suffering the consequences of it in your later ones.”

            I scowled at him.

Me: “I do not and WILL not suffer anything for my past, least of all because of her!”

            He raised both hands in an innocent retreat.

Rashid: “Whatever you say, I was just making an observation.”

            I gave him a punch on his shoulder and stalked out of the room, cursing under my breath and vowing not to have another nightmare about her tonight. Over my dead body would I ever let her have that much control over me.

Asma

            I heard Sul6an’s footsteps stomping up the stairs and a hard clash of doorframes. So Rashid wasn’t sleeping over tonight, just as 3wash had predicted. I confided my suspicious to her and she told me that I hadn’t heard enough for her to make a proper judgment, but she did say that he probably wouldn’t stay the night.

Me: “Just a minute 7beeby, I’ll be right back okay?”

            3bdulla looked at me suspiciously then nodded.

3bdulla: “You’ll tell me later anyway.”

            I smiled, loving how he understood me so well and trusted me. I gave him a quick but generous kiss and left the room. I rushed down the stairs, hoping that Rashid hadn’t left yet. I caught him just as he was entering his car.

Me: “Rashid! La76’a!”

            He paused and turned, a surprised look donning his face as he took in the sight of me.

Rashid: “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Me: “I was waiting for Sul6an to leave. I need to talk to you.”

            He sighed.

Rashid: “Asma, it’s very late. Go back to 3bdulla. We’ll talk later okay?”

Me: “But-”

            He shook his head, interrupting me.

Rashid: “Now’s not a good time. Later.”

            He turned his back to me and hopped into his car. I persisted.

Me: “Who is she?”

            He froze just he was about to turn his key to start his car.

Rashid: “What do you mean by that?”

Me: “I mean, who is the girl you love?”

His hand clenched hard around the steering wheel.

Rashid: “I don’t love anyone.”

Me: “I think you do.”

Rashid: “Think all you want. It doesn’t change the truth.”

Me: “Please tell me. Maybe I can help.”

Rashid: “You can’t. Nobody can. What’s done is done. Now go to sleep, Asma.”

Me: “No. I'm not moving until you tell me!”

Rashid: “Dammit it Asma, stop it! She doesn’t love me and she never will, because she chose someone else over me. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Are you satisfied?”

            My words were choked up in my throat, and I couldn’t get anything out. The last thing he wanted was pity. I wanted to hug him and tell him that he deserved better and that he would find someone who would show him why it never worked out, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t get anything out with the way he was looking at me.

Me: “I’m sorry…”

            With tear-filled eyes, I turned around and ran back to the house. I vaguely heard something smash against metal, and then moments afterwards, the engine roared to life and he drove away. What had I done to earn such a hateful glare?

To be continued…