Beneath Guarded Hearts - 49

Previously…

Asma

He remained quiet, not knowing how to react to my false emphasis of the last word, having no excuse at all. He probably had a dozen of them actually, but didn't dare answer me back when I still had the upper hand.

Me: "Now see how acceptable you can be when you simply don't speak?"

He responded with the same sarcasm.

Rashid: "Yes, it's done me WHOLE lot of good so far."

Me: "Oh don't you worry sweety, it'll get even better."

He looked away from my forged smile. This time, my tone promised something that he wasn't looking forward to.

_________________

Asma

            He was smarter than I thought. No wonder none of his family ever found out about his mischief. He was always pretending to be the typical kind of local guy. Well, in a way he was, unless he was willing to lift a finger and do something for himself. It was a win-win deal. Only my heart was at risk, but that seemed irrelevant at the moment.

            I sighed. My heart kept asking, ‘Will he be here?’ and my brain kept saying, ‘You found a way out, and that should be enough.’ So why wasn’t it?

3bdulla

            I got the news when I was out with a couple of friends, hanging at the coffee shop, cracking jokes, the usual routine of every Monday night; my favorite distraction. Asma turned into a mere memory. I forgot her voice, her hair, the little features of her face… at least during the day. But at night, everything became alive again. She was close, yet so far; she was just a touch away, yet completely out of reach. He was always in the way.

            I sighed as I reread the card for the fifth time, not seeming to believe it, my mind trying to keep hold of my sanity. It was happening. And I let it. God help me. But I won’t be there to witness it, not for a million years. I wouldn’t be able to. If I saw him…

John: “Yoo Abood, where d’ya trail off to? Haha is that a letter from your girlfriend?”

Kathy: “Yaa I’ve never seen him this alive! What’s going on Ab?”

Me: “Sho?”

John: “And there he goes with the ‘sho’ again. You keep forgettin we still don’t get what it means :p Although I’m guessin by now it’s ‘what?’, somethin like that eyy?”

Me: “John, you’re seriously messed up. Choose one accent and stick with it! Pfft that’s proof right there that this acting B-S is bad for you :p You’re loosing yourself… is this John I’m talking to? Or his other personality? Is it Barry this time? Maybe Sal?”

John: “Oh shut up Abood, don’t get me started on you. I do that as a hobby! My business keeps me boringly sane.”

Me: “ANYWAAY, in answer to your comment, I’d have to say for the millionth time that I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t need one. They’re a pain in the ass.”

Sara: “Loool shfeek 3bdulla! Shinw mstwaay inteh mb 9a7yy.”

Me: “Siktaaaay.”

            I smirked at her as I mimicked her kuwaity accent. She stuck out her tongue and frowned.

Me: “It’s nothing, just a wedding card.”

            I said to no one in particular.

Sara: “Ooooo who’s getting married?! I love weddings the groom’s brothers are always really hot.”

            She flickered her lashes, as if dreaming, and I just sighed again. I handed her the card, knowing there was no other way to shut the squeaky voice from leaving her mouth.

Sara: “Gom Al-X? Hathy tegrblk?”

John: “Heyyy enough with Arabic, we’re sitting right here you know.”

Kathy: “So rude. Expected nothing less from arabs :p”

            She always knew how to grab my attention. I got really defensive when anything was said about our people, but when I looked at her sharply, I saw from her expression that she did it on purpose.

Me: “It’s not gonna work this time, Kathy.”

            I laughed at her as she folded her arms, a move known to us by now that meant that she was upset.

Sara: “It’s the perfect timing! You had nothing to do for the coming holiday, so you can go back home and attend :D But of course that’s the men’s wedding, the women’s one isn’t relevant to your schedule, but it doesn’t really matter since you won’t be goi-”

Me: “When’s the women’s one?”

Sara: “25^th, a day before our holiday starts, and the men’s 3 days later. I was expecting it to be on the same day but-”

Me: “Sara.”

Sara: “Shnaaw?”

Me: “You’re going to miss el msalsal if you don’t leave.”

Sara: “Oh my God you’re right! Sorry guys I gotta go I simply CANNOT miss this! Bye cuties I’ll see you later!”

            She threw the card at me right before she rushed off. I sighed in relief.

John: “So are you going?”

            I just stared at the card again.

Kathy: “Of course he is. He can’t help but be there when some other guy takes his girl.”

            I gave her a murderous look that would have made others flinch in fear, but she knew me better. Her and her damn psychology classes…

Kathy: “I don’t see the point Ab. Why are doing this to yourself? Just go get her!”

Me: “It’s not that simple.”

John: “Kathy…”

Kathy: “No, this is for his own good. What’s wrong with you? You’re putting yourself AND the girl through unnecessary pains. Just man up and go after her!”

            This time, I killed her voice with my eyes.

John: “You know how he is when you mention his manhood. Bad move Kathy!”

            I barely heard him whisper to her as I stared at her mincingly.

Me: “Maybe in YOUR culture, you’re allowed to do whatever the damn you please without a second thought to your morals and ethics. And even though those precise actions are causing you physical and emotional problems that I prefer not to approach, as it is a VERY long list, you still seem to think that only your ways are right. Maybe sometime, KATHERINE, you might wanna pay attention to yourself before you start talking about others. How many months is your 16-year-old cousin pregnant again? And John, didn’t your brother just get divorced because he cheated on her with his ex-wife? Do I need to mention more or are you done criticizing me?”

            When they both gave me no answer, as I had expected, I slipped out two $20 notes and dropped them on the table.

Me: “Drinks on me.”

            And I left. Sul6an had no business putting me through this when he knew I wouldn’t show up anyway. I’m going to have to settle this with him when, if, I end up going home. No, I won’t go. I can’t. Damn it, this isn’t what I need right now!

            The card had Asma’s scent on it. I took another deep sniff as I walked the crowded streets. How I had missed her.

            It felt like she had sent a part of her with it, a message of hope, a hidden kiss, her dazzling smile, the echo of her laughter…

            I hated myself at the moment, because the more I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t going, the more I craved to get on the first plane and take her away from him. I don’t know what I'm going to do. It’s none of my business. But still…

            My eyes widened as a thought popped into my head. Sul6an? He would never send this if he wanted me to stay away. He knew how I would react. He sent it on purpose. Something must be going on, something I don’t know yet, but it’s like he sent this not as an invitation to attend a wedding, but an invitation to stop one. And stop it I shall. She can have anyone she wants. But not Rashid. It’s time I lived up to my promises.

Me: “I’m coming, Asma.”

            I whispered into the soft ends of the quiet breeze around me, and I hastened my walk to a run.

To be continued…