Beneath Guarded Hearts - 55

Previously…

Sul6an

She tapped her fingers together and positioned her elbows on her knees, giving me a piercing look, analyzing me, and I realized that she too had been surprised, even though she was doing a hell of a job masking it. Who was she? She smiled deceivingly as she broke the tense silence.

Alia: “Ahlan, my name is 3alya… Let’s talk.”

________________

4 months later…

Asma

            I couldn’t feel my legs. Breathe Asma, just breathe…

Mama: “5 minutes 7bibty, yalla etjahizay. La tinsain, la tsri3een fe mashyatch; double step and stop for a smile, just like we practiced. W Allah y5aleech la tnsain tibtismeen, the cameras will be on you 24/7…”

            As if I wasn’t nervous enough. As if I didn’t know all of this already. I wish she would stop talking, maybe then I could calm down a bit…

3wash: “Heyy, breath 7bibty it’ll be fine.”

            I smiled at my sister weakly. How much she had changed since et9ala7na. She applied less make-up, and often hid most of her 8i9aa. She looked absolutely stunning today. I felt so plain standing next to her in her red dress and kick-ass high heels that I was sure I could never pull off. I would fall on my face the second I tried to walk in them. I don’t know why I was comparing myself on my wedding day; maybe because I was nervous like hell, or maybe because I was also a little scared that he wouldn’t show up. I had that dream again, but it was different this time.

I’m in a ridiculous fancy wedding dress, smiling, awaiting my groom, and when he does finally come in, I discover that it is Rashid, not 3bdulla. He is the old Rashid, the predator. I panic. I try to run, but my dress won’t allow it. I stumble. My pins become loose as he grabs me off the floor from my hair and pushes me onto the finely stitched white bench. My audience of women are suddenly holding black masquerade masks to their faces, with gold feathers sticking out on the side, their eyes curious and encouraging. I search for help. I find none. I try to scream, but I find no voice. My dream suddenly shifts to a random hotel room, and Rashid is dragging me in. I push with no results. And then, 3bdulla barges in from behind him. My relief leaves as fast as it had appeared. He takes one disgusted look at me and then he leaves. And thank God I had awoken at that point.

‘It was just a dream’ I said to myself. After all, every bride feels nervous on her wedding day. It would all go away in a moment…

Mama: “Asma, et7arikay!”

            My mother hissed as I suddenly blinked. I painted a smile on my face as my heart sped violently. The camera lights were blinding me, but I was smiling willingly, taking my steps carefully. I concentrated on the music in the background, and my pulse eased a little bit as I let it guide me. I loved this song.

As I walked, I felt the nervousness being drained out of me, and I found myself smiling because… well, because I was truly happy. I was getting married! I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t one of those girls who sat on a table by the stage and stared enviously at the affectionate whispers of the bride and groom, their fingers twining together… No, never again would I be that girl. This time, I was the bride, the one who was envied, and the one who found love.

            I smiled at the all the strange and similar faces around me, and couldn’t hold in a few quiet chuckles as a few of my crazy friends waved and chanted endearments loudly. I was very proud of my stage; it had turned out just as I had wanted it to be. The runway was the color of snow, sprinkled with rose petals as the flower girls continued in front of me with their baskets. Pearly white silk fell loosely to cover the sides. The backdrop was hung with lines of fresh jasmine flowers with tiny crystals that were lightly sprinkled along the lines of white petals in a flowing pattern. My dress was sleeveless, tightly fitted down to my navel, and then loosened just around my small waist, flowing in layers down to the floor. The dress was scarcely dotted with scattered tiny ribbons shaped into extremely small feyonkas, and in the middle of each ribbon hung a miniature pearl. It looked simple, the work not too eye-popping as the different colors of whites played hide and seek with one another, vaguely apparent as it flickered when I moved, but it was designed to show off the form of the body more than the off-white sequences that were slightly camouflaged within the layers of fine fabric. I felt confident as I walked in it. My long, heavily embroidered veil dragged along the stage in a poised flow, catching and dropping a few petals every now and then, and contrasted somewhat with the simplicity of my dress.

            Chatters, hellos, congratulations… I smiled through it all with a proud grin, the thought of seeing 3bdulla never leaving my head. I longed the moment I would feed him a bite of our cake, see him slip the ring through my finger, hold his hands and never let go…

            I felt like I had been daydreaming for a long time before they finally announced that the groom would be coming in a few a minutes. My heart skipped a hard beat. What was he feeling, having the chance to finally see what was hidden from his sight under the gatherings of black silk all this time? Would he like what he saw? Was I even close in comparison to Nada? She must have been more…

Why was I thinking about Nada? He was mine now, only mine and nobody else’s. I smiled conceitedly at that thought. 3bdulla… mine. The thought was so appealing, so pleasurable that I grinned sheepishly as they covered my head with the hood of my red cloak that matched the scattered rose petals on the white of the stage. I awaited the look in his alluring blue eyes the moment he would uncover my face. I awaited being closer to him than anyone else had ever been. I awaited his dominant arrival with a thudding pulse behind my ears, and after what seemed ages, I heard the doors crack open slowly through the rant of the crowd as the loud music drummed in my ears. I heard nothing, only listened to the sound of his footsteps as he walked in slowly. I couldn’t see him. The hood was blocking my sight. But I could feel his powerful presence. I was trying very hard not to blush, but I knew it was useless. My cheeks felt hot as I sensed him nearing me, my pulse quickening in excitement. I gasped as I realized that he was now right in front of me. I felt the warmth of his body radiating closely, and lowered my gaze as he lifted his arms and reached for my hood.

‘Stop blushing Asma!’ I tried desperately to work some mind control over my body, but I blushed even more. As he lifted the hood completely, I looked up slowly into his eyes as desire and heat swept through their light color. I caught my breath. He was an absolutely beautiful creature. And he was all mine. I held my blissful tears back furiously, and crushed all temptations to fall into his embrace. There would be time for that later…  Salamt 3ala baba w Sul6an, my closest uncles, and 3bdulla’s father. I smiled as I heard the photographer ordering at me to stretch a grin.

When the men finally left after what seemed ages, 3bdulla sat beside me and rearranged the layers of my dress so that we sat closer to each other. I smiled at him widely, and he returned it with a grin, his eyes suddenly taking possession of me. The things he could do with his eyes, it was just amazing…

He dropped my veil over my face, eying me, as if he was trying to decide in whether I looked better with it on or not. He smiled to himself, oblivious to everything and everyone. He lifted my veil again, not taking his gaze off of my face, as if he were afraid I would disappear if he took one glance away. He held my heated cheeks in the cradle of his palms and bent down to kiss my forehead. I could feel the envious eyes flaming, wondering how on earth I had managed to tame such a wild creature. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his lips on my skin for the seconds that they lasted. And I knew right there, right then, that the man beside me truly loved me.

            As if he had read my mind, he bent further and whispered into my ears ‘Amoot feech ya 3’anaty’. My heart leapt in joy at the sound of these words escaping his breath. I whispered back an endearment with a rising blush. I wanted to be alone with him so badly, but the photographers kept attacking us with flashing snapshots.

Before my mind had the time to register my surroundings, I found him being handed jewelry cases, including a ring box. With the help of his mother and sister, he took out the jewelry one by one and took his time with decorating me with huge diamonds, the delight apparent in the glow of his eyes. He held a dazzling ring in his hands and lifted my finger. I glanced at him and saw the same possessed look he wore when he first lifted my hood. He slid the circle of big diamonds into my finger and whispered to me with a husky voice, his eyes filled with satisfaction.

3bdulla: “You are finally mine, my little smurf.”

            I responded in a whisper with a passionate tone, as I looked right into him, my blush rising again.

Me: “I love you, 3bady.”

            He gave me a bright smile as he beamed at me. I loved how easily I could please him.

3bdulla: “Allah y5aleely eyach ya 7ubby, mashay mthlch fe kil hal dnya.”

            He held my hands in a gentle grip as he whispered flirtatious comments into my ears, his soft voice barely high enough for me to hear. I think I was blushing red in all my pictures. But I remembered something else that heated my cheeks even more as I recollected it from the back of my head, where I had kept it off-limits to my wandering thoughts. And I suddenly realized that it wasn’t very far away. In fact, a few hours from now… My cheeks flushed bright red, and 3bdulla mistook its cause for the remark he had just made. But for some reason, I felt that he knew why I was suddenly trying to hide my nervousness.

To be continued…