Previously...
Asma
I took in a deep breath.
Noufyy: "You can do this Asma..."
Me: "I know I know. I will. I must."
3wash: "Good, because all this work can't go to waste."
Me: "Okaay… Yalla lazm atlabas."
Noufyy gave me a big hug and murmured to me encouragingly before she left.
Noufyy: "Good luck 7bibty."
Me: "Thanks... I think I'll need it."
______________
Sul6an
Me: "Asma? Wain sayra?"
Asma: "Oh Sul6an you're home already? Et7araitk bat5ali9 at 5:30…"
Me: "Haaih bas I got released mn wagt elyom, 3shan ma kan shay wayed sh3'l. Wain 6al3a?"
Asma: "Oh mashay sayra DM."
I raised a brow at her.
Me: "Hal wagt? W hal yom? Wayed z7ma mno bayseer weyach?"
Asma: "Sul6ooon ana mb yahil 5ala9 et5arajt w basoog ba3d shwaya!"
Me: "Asmaa..."
I used the warning tone that always worked with her.
3wash: Yalla Asma 5alna nseer banit2a- Oh Sul6an! You're home early..."
I raised my brow again, this time in surprise.
Me: "With 3wash? Mta et9ala7to inshalla?"
Asma: "Umm gabl esboo3ain a6’anii…”
I stared at her.
Me: "W ma 5abarteeni?"
Asma: "Ummmm I didn't wanna bother you, and she's making it up to me, batwa9ilny DM I need to buy something mn Bloomingdales."
I looked back and forth from Asma to 3wash. She didn't wanna bother me? 3wash making it up to her? That doesn't sound like either of them.
Me: "What's going on?"
3wash: "Ufff geltelch we should've just told him."
Asma: "3waaash!!!"
Me: "Told me what?"
3wash: "My GOD people we're gonna be late! Both of you, in the car, now! Asma will explain on the way."
Before I could say anything further, Asma snuck a glare at 3wash as they both rushed into her car. What the hell is going on?
***
>You don't look like you're going to enjoy this
I looked at Asma until she received it and read it. She was typing something back.
--No of course not. You know how much I hate doing stuff like this. But this needs to be done.
>No Asma, I know you. You’ll feel too guilty
--No I won't. He hurt me
She said it as if that was reason enough, which we both knew was far from the truth.
>Then why didn't you destroy Nada when you could have?
I looked at her troubled reaction as I brought up unwanted memories from her past.
--You know I'm not like her, and it's not the same
>Exactly. You’re not like her Asma, Ana ma bawgaf fe 6reejch this time, bas I'm telling you, you're gonna regret this. Ma batroomen
--Yes I can! I'm stronger than you think
>Maybe, but inty insanh 7noona. It’s not in your nature to hurt people, especially not in public
--Uff shut up sul6an! You're not the one who's been lied to and you're not the one stuck in a marriage you can't get out of! I don't need a psychology lesson from you, I know what I'm doing
>Inzain 3ala ra7tch. Enjoy the last minutes of your peace, because we're about to reach
I heard her catch her breath as she looked out the window.
Asma
Peace was far from what I was feeling. All this lying was already eating at my guilt, no matter that it was to Rashid. I texted him to tell him I had my own ride and that I'd meet him jdam the waterfall area ele 3dal el ice rink, the one with the random hanging people on it.
I was starving, but I didn't eat anything on purpose because I knew my nervousness wouldn't let it stay down. How was I supposed to look normal, even playful and interested, when I felt like crawling into a black hole? He's gonna know, he'll figure it out and-
NO. I WILL do this. I have to. He lied to you, Asma, he lied. He lied to many others before you, and this is for them as well. Ya Allah then why does it feel so wrong?
***
Rashid: "Halla 7bibty, looking hot! ;) Ma5tarty ela mkan mzd7m where everyone can see you -.-"
He pretended to pout.
Me: "But don't you want to show me off? Latgooly ink t3'ar because I'll know it's bull :)"
So I panicked for nothing. As always. It was like presenting a play; right before you step on stage, you feel like barfing, but as soon as you get into character, all that energy gets transformed to help enhance your role, to give you that boost. I was doing this much better than I thought, and my nervousness slowly subsided, but vaguely lingered still, waiting to release itself again when the time came.
He suddenly interrupted my thoughts.
Rashid: "Is that my family?!"
Me: "Ohh haaih ashoof you saw them! I made sure each and every one of them came 3shan I know you never get to see them and- What's wrong?"
Rashid: "Laish che swaity Asma, you can't just assume things when it comes to me. There's a REASON why I don't see them often. Every single person came?!"
I narrowed my eyes at him. 3wash told me to expect this, even though I refused to believe that someone would purposely avoid his or her own family, the only people on earth who truly cared about you. And of course, I was wrong. Again. This world is such a sad place.
Me: "Yalla 3ad they’re you’re family! 7abeeby trust me, just come and say hi."
I gave him a flirtatious wink that him promised something, and he eventually smiled and held my hand as he lead me towards them.
I was good at this.
As he was saying hi to his large family of two parents and 8 siblings, I quickly bbm'ed the joined conversation of me, Noufyy and 3wash.
Asma
-Guys yalis ysalim 3alaihm right now
Noufyy
-Awesome, good job asoomty I'm so proud of you!
3wash
-Can everyone view the big screen mal el ice rink?
Asma
-Yes it’s clear, we're in the perfect position
Noufyy
-You have the link right?
Asma
-Yaa 3ndy eyaah
3wash
-Okaay, yalla ma bagy shay
Asma
-Haaih..
-Shit he's coming gtg!
Noufyy
-Ok ok byee hun!!
-Good luck :*
3wash
-We're right here with you
Rashid: "So what do you have in store for me, ya Asma?"
Suddenly a thought popped into my head as he smiled at me. I could tell him before I publish the video and enjoy a little begging...
Me: "I know what you did last Friday in Mercato."
I blurted it out before giving it a second thought, and I regretted it the moment I said it. What if he did something to me? What if he kidnapped me again like before? Omg shit shit shit Asma you blew it! He’s not-
I saw his self-possession slowly break down as he took in what I said. I tightened my grip on my phone, and he glanced back at his family who were happily conversing with each other. He then looked at the ice rink, following my gaze to the big screen that was currently showing movie trailers, then slowly back at me and my hands clasping my blackberry.
I didn't have to say anything. His smile turned from sweet to bitter and fake, betraying his low, angry tone of voice.
Rashid: "You bitch! Do you know how much you'll suffer if you do this?!"
Me: "Not as much as you will."
Where did this boldness come from?
Rashid: "Hahah no wonder my whole family showed up! What did you tell them? That you found proof on something that I did? Well guess what, I'm not planning on pleasing them after all these years just because you're selfish and want attention! Batshoofen asma wallah el 3a6'eem..."
I was surprised at how calm I was. His body was completely tensed as he continued to threaten me several times, but he saw that it wasn't working. I firmly held my stand. He turned desperate.
Rashid: "Uff sho ely tbainh bel 6’abt?!"
Me: "ANA sho aba? You sent me home with BRUISES that night, Rashid! For a whole day I couldn’t get out of bed, and I was walking chany 3yooz m5arfa for the rest of the week! On top of all your outrageous past actions, you LIED to me! You stole 3bdulla's set-up and you had the face to lie about it!"
Rashid: "I didn't lie. I never said I actually made it, w a9lan what does it matter! Wain 7abeebch a7eena ha?!"
I paused.
Me: "He’s in New York, but that's not the point."
Rashid: "Yes it is. This is about me lying, and you're getting upset for nothing because face it asma, he doesn't want you. W 7ata lo kan ybach, ho mb rayal l2ana mat-himeh m9la7atch wala msha3rich. Did you know he didn't even bother to protest when you brother told him that he couldn't take you there? Hatha ba3adeh yahil yl3ab fe m5ich, w I'm right here and willing, Allah a3lam laish, dealing with your crap and picking up after him, what more do you want?!"
Me: "What more do I want? I never asked you to do anything for me! I don’t even want you! I want to live my life in peace. I don't want you, I don't want 3bdulla, I just want my life back!"
Rashid: "What the hell asma this is not a game mara far7ana w ra6’ya mn kilshay w the next thing I know tkonen m3’ayra raych! Mta batikbareen?"
Me: "What game? YOU’RE the one playing a very dangerous game Rashid w trust me you seriously don’t want to see what I can do. A9lan everything changed and you're a fake! Everything about you is a lie, and THAT's why I'm doing this."
I took a step back. He took another one forward.
Rashid: "You ungrateful piece of- You know how many girls would die to be in your place?!"
Me: "Well then you should've known by now that I'm not like other girls. You should have chosen a bride who's stupid enough to drool all over your good-for-nothing pretty face."
Rashid: "I knew you were trouble mn el bdaya. You’re such a pain in the ass asma, and incredibly stupid! Do you know what you'll gain from being married to me?!"
Me: "Oh my GOD bas shut up! You and your excuses! You're unbelievable! Don’t try to turn this on me l2any maswait wala shay, bas YOU on the other hand have been sneaking around with God-knows-who behind my back!"
Rashid: "Yal 7mara wa6y 9ootech! Kil7ad yalis yit6ala3!"
I glared at him.
Me: "Answer me this then: Why did you make up our marriage? W kaif a8na3t Sul6an y9adegk?"
He stared at me in bewilderment.
Rashid: "Wha- I told you Asma, uhh y-your mom-"
Me: "Don't give me bullshit. The truth, Rashid."
My tone warned him dangerously as I lifted my phone slightly. He stared back at the slowly questioning eyes of his family. He whispered urgently under his breath.
Rashid: "Ufff inzain! I needed a wife to please my father. He wouldn't give me any of the company shares lo ma 7a9altly 7erma."
Me: "So you were using me all this time and took advantage of Sul6an's friendship to slip it through without your father's knowledge?"
He just stared at me.
Me: “My God, that’s genius. Sul6an would never dare to question your father, and since he trusted you back then… and you didn't have time... and others would have been a huger risk...”
He nodded unsurely, stealing small glances of his surroundings. He finally gave me his attention.
Rashid: "Now stop all this nonsense w 5alna nseer nakil fe ma63am, w MAYBE I'll manage to forget about it if you please me enough."
I raised my brow at him.
Me: "Esma3 ya Rashid, you need to shove your words into your mouth and stop being such an arrogant ass, tfhamny?"
He just stared at me as I smiled at him coldly. My heart thumped really hard as I took twp steps back and abruptly lifted my phone and started clicking, fishing for the link that I couldn’t seem to find, my mind a nervous mess of clamored thoughts. He made an attempt to grab it from me, but I suddenly screamed in reflex before he reached me.
Everyone stared at us. His family was starting to approach. Shit I made a scene!
Rashid’s Dad: "Rashid?! Shotsawy ya 7eywan? Tba tif6'a7na jdam kil el 3alam? Mafeek e7tram?!"
Out of nowhere his father appeared behind him, and I'll be honest, he was the scariest creature I had ever seen. He seemed pretty normal when I met him, but now as he glared at Rashid, he looked like... like a monster.
I don't know what changed my mind, whether it was the murderous look Rashid's father was giving him, or the helplessness of the slumped shoulders of my fake fiancé as he shrank back from his gaze. I looked at a completely different person. I finally saw the real Rashid, for everything that he was, and I saw the memories of childhood abuse, neglect and isolation come alive in front of me. He looked miserable.
I couldn't do it.
As I quickly weighed down different possibilities, I came up with an interesting alternative that I haven’t thought of before. But it was risky, and I didn’t know if it would work or… His father stepped forward and raised his hand in a familiar pose that I only saw in movies. He was going to give him a blow. I panicked. I had to do something. Uffff I was so going to regret this...
Me: "Laa2 3amy! Ma sawa shay. Esma7ly ana wayed azee3' mn 7sharat w t7arait chft shay 3dal ryooleh."
He dropped his clenched fist and looked at me and Rashid skeptically as I attempted a sheepish smile. Man was I a good actor!
Me: "Lazm tft5r fe weldk, 3amy, l2any ma shft mthla. Ma ybalh ella 9abr."
He relaxed his hard knuckles, but his expression was far from pleasant.
Rashid's Dad: "Haaih haih kam 9bart 3alaih w wala sawa shay zain fe 7yateh. INTEH, E7mid rabk 7a9altlek 7rma 9aboora, tara ma batlagy mthlha. Lo he tista7milk akthar 3any ma3rf mno 3'airha bayihtam feek hal gad. Yalla obooy basskm 7arakat 5alna nt3asha, 3ndy sh3'l ba3dain w lazm arid..."
He said it as he trailed off and assured everyone that everything was fine. After what felt like ages, Rashid finally turned to meet my gaze.
Rashid: "Laish?"
His whisper was so low, his eyes deceiving the amount of emotion he was trying to hide.
Me: "Uff w ana sho 3rafny, ana 3'abeya. You owe me SO big, and unless you're willing to discuss my requests, I'm clicking on this link right now!"
Rashid: "Inzain inzain I'll do ay shay just please act like I'm irresistible and an awesome husband, I mean 5a6eeb, ufff whatever mayhm, at least through dinner?"
Me: "Do we have a deal?"
Rashid: "Walla asma anything you ask just please latif6'a7eeni..."
Me: "ANA af6'a7k? Inteh walla... Ufff 3wash is gonna kill me for this..."
Rashid: "3wash?"
Me: "Nothing nothing. Yalla let's just get this over with."
He paused for a minute.
Rashid: "Thank you Asma."
I smiled at him mockingly. He waited for another long minute and spoke again. Out of nowhere he surprised me with a question.
Rashid: "I really bruised you?"
Me: “Huh?”
Rashid: “Inty gelty inh… Umm… 5ala9 wala shay.”
Ugggh I must have babbled again. I wasn't meaning to let him know about that.
Me: “Well what did you think happened when you manhandled me like a piece of trash and gripped me so damn tight when I desperately tried to knock some sense into you?”
Rashid: "I..."
Me: "Uggh, nevermind, you probably don’t feel sorry anyway, so don’t bother. I said I’d play nice through dinner, w I keep my promises, fa you don't need to prove anything. Don't worry about a thing 7ABEEBY.”
He remained quiet, not knowing how to react to my false emphasis of the last word, having no excuse at all. He probably had a dozen of them actually, but didn't dare answer me back when I still had the upper hand.
Me: "Now see how acceptable you can be when you simply don't speak?"
He responded with the same sarcasm.
Rashid: "Yes, it's done me WHOLE lot of good so far."
Me: "Oh don't you worry sweety, it'll get even better."
He looked away from my forged smile. This time, my tone promised something that he wasn't looking forward to.
To be continued...