Beneath Guarded Hearts - 39

Previously…

Asma

I moaned as I searched frantically for any sign of family, of anyone! I ignored his annoying voice as I looked for my brother’s figure. I gasped lightly when what I found were a pair of dazzling blue eyes staring directly at me, gleaming in resent. He was closer. He was within hearing distance. He had switched seats with… I couldn’t recall which family member used to be in his place. My thoughts were cut by the sharp edge in his look, my mind horror-struck at the realization that 3bdulla had been listening to us. The whole time.

_______________

3bdulla

            I couldn’t take my gaze away from her. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t either. Out of fear. Out of guilt. Out of whatever she was feeling as she realized that I could listen to them. I didn’t hate her, but I didn’t exactly like her at the moment. She wasn’t being herself. What happened to her? Mb chanh kanat mayteh zya3’ mnh? Mb chanh hatha ely 3’i9abha w 5arab 7yat-ha? Wain sar kil hal kalam el fa6’y? Was she lying to me? Was she really not asking for help at the beach? Did… did she want him to continue? I shuddered at the thought of him touching her. This summer went from bad to good to bad to worse! I missed her laughter, and I was filled with envy when she was laughing for him. I wanted her to laugh only for me, to babble to me, and to be teased by only me. Not Rashid.

            I was stuck as I contemplated about what to do. Maybe I could use her guilt to my advantage and finally get something out of her. I tore my gaze away from her and deliberately stared into my empty tv until she swung around. I heard Rashid ask about her. No doubt she looked horrified. I gritted my teeth and took my blackberry out. We were in midair 5aly waly and this entire shut-of-your-phone thing is complete crap anyway. Inshalla her phone is open.

To: Asooma (Mobile)

Mb chanh gelteely inch zay3’a mnh? Sho elsalfa were you lying to me all this time?! W laish ma3’ayarti mkanch ! Sul6an or anyone could have changed seats with you! Don’t you dare ignore me hal mara wila walla bayee 3ndch w bashilch mn krseech!

            Okaay, so maybe I was too harsh. And too demanding. A complete ass. But I was too angry. Too betrayed. She can’t leave me for some guy like him. I won’t allow it. She can’t start getting comfortable around him.

            I waited and waited, but no answer came. Did she really think I wasn’t going to do it? Fine, batshoof.

            My thoughts were interrupted as I felt a small figure looming over me. I looked up into Asma’s rage-filled almond eyes. Okaay, so maybe I was a tiny bit too harsh…

Asma: “Gom. We need to talk.”

            Uh oh. That’s never a good sentence to hear from a girl. I followed her to the back of the plane where we had prayed earlier, away from all the seats. She turned to face me, her expression composed, but her eyes shooting darts at me. Her whole façade broke as soon as she opened her mouth.

Asma: “Inteh sho tit7ara 3mrk obooy?! You don’t own me! You don’t even give a shit about me w you still don’t want me to be happy? How dare you! Lk jr2a che tgooli! I can’t even BEGIN to-”

            I silenced her lips with my finger.

Me: “You really think you can be happy with him?”

            She looked at me with broken eyes.

Asma: “And what do you care!”

            Her eyes started to water.

Me: “Of course I care about you. I always have since-”

Asma: “So is that what you were thinking when you were making out with Nada?!”

            She took satisfaction in my shocked face, my composure broken. She knew. She KNEW! HOW? WHEN? Who could have told her! Ma7ad y3arf about this not even sul6an!

Me: “Who told you that?”

Asma: “Oh no one told me anything! I saw it all for myself, so don’t try to lie to me like you have been all this time!”

Me: “SAW it? How did you see it you weren’t even there!”

Asma: “I saw the video.”

            What video? She spoke at my confused expression.

Asma: “Uffff damn you for making me have to do this!”

            She took out her blackberry and started clicking. She lowered the volume and handed it to me.

            Oh.

            This video.

            I closed it, didn’t need to watch any further as I realized that it was over. My secret was out. I had tried to run away from it, to move on, and I turned into a better person. But my past caught up with me. My mistakes were out.

Me: “Asma. Listen to me. That was a LONG time ago.”

Asma: “It doesn’t matter.”

            She was barely forcing her tears back. I spoke to her gently.

Me: “Yes it DOES. Asma, every guy has a past, n7na nsawy 5rabee6, especially fe hthak el 3mr. Better sooner than later ya3ni, because a guy HAS to stray, no matter how small or big. A guy will always do SOMETHING. So better in his earlier years than when he’s all grown up. I’m not the same person, Asma. I don’t even know who the guy in that video is. I’ve left him behind. Do you truly believe that this is who I am now? After everything?”

            She looked torn, unable to decide whether to believe anything I said or not.

Me: “Asma…”

            I reached out for her, but she leaped back and raised a firm hand, gesturing me to stay back, to stay away from her. After a long, suffering silence, she finally spoke.

Asma: “I don’t know what to believe anymore. This isn’t something small 3bdulla.”

Me: “I know bas… Can’t you-”

Asma: “Don’t ask me to forgive you, because this is unforgivable. Did you know she used to be my best friend?”

            I widened my eyes. NADA? She was the exact opposite of Asma. I couldn’t imagine them being best friends. Not in this lifetime, or ANY lifetime as a matter of fact.

Asma: “Yaa 3bdulla, and she knew I loved you. She did the same thing to all my crushes, but THIS… this was entirely different, because you weren’t just another crush. And she knew it. She was using you to break me. And… and it worked.”

            Her voice broke at the end and she rushed away before I could say anything.

            I watched her dash through the isles with slashed eyes, looking back on the day when I could have stopped this, could have prevented this. I knew it would hurt her, but I didn’t know Nada was her best friend. This was beyond any hurt I could imagine. And knowing asma, she was scarred. To her deepest cores. She would hate me. And there was nothing I could do about it.

To be continued…