Beneath Guarded Hearts - 37

Previously…

Asma

Had I been overreacting all this time? Was he really not the person I thought he was? But that night… How could I interpret it any other way?

‘You’ll never know unless you ask him…’ I heard a voice in my head tell me. I sighed. It was time I brought up a subject that had been neglected for too long.

_______________

Rashid

            5ala9 la3at chabdy. Hai sho tit7ara 3mrha malika? Tbany abos ryoolha w agoolha iny asif? Well, I’m not sorry! It’s not like I am victimizing her. Ufff sho ha, kil el bnat chee; they always think they are the ones who are hurt and we are heartless players. Well, maybe sometimes it’s true, but not in this case!

            My thoughts were interrupted by her low voice. It was the first time she ever called my name. Hmmm, 3’areeba. I couldn’t help but recall when 3bdulla said that I scared her. Was that true? Why was she scared of me?

            I continued ignoring her even as she persisted in catching my attention. Walla, works like magic on girls. Ignore them, and they’ll fall to your knees and beg for you. I’ve tried it before. If you give them the slightest bit of attention, bay9adgoon 3arhm w they’ll pretend to reject you or something awanh ‘hard to get’. Seero la chanh I’m desperate for you, I have girls lining up behind me to get my number, so why should I waste my time on them? Only this time, I realized I couldn’t ignore this particular girl and hope that she would go away. Because she’s my fiancé. Ugghh. She’s not 6rr, ya3ni I’ve seen much more beautiful girls than her. Bas madre laish something about her nature caught my attention. And I said maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be as bad as it seems. But oh, was I wrong. She was making it impossibly difficult. Well, I would happily return the favors.

            I shuddered as I felt the tips of her fingers nudging me on my shoulder. Now this was a first. Pffft, afraid of me? I knew he was lying. She wanted me. And how could she not? I’m irresistible. But something in me flinched when I met her eyes. Damn. She was scared. Something was really bothering her, and her face was really pale. 5aaibh sho balaha?

            I took out my earphones slowly and stared at her intently, waiting for her to break the silence. She seemed at a loss of words. Ufff mafeeni kil hal drama, sho tba?

Me: “Sho?”

            I sounded really cold. Well, whatever. 5alha tit3alam dars-ha. She shrank back as she heard the edge in my voice, and I suddenly softened. I didn’t want to scare her more.

Me: “Is something wrong?”

            She relaxed a little bit, but I saw how much she was guarded.

Asma: “La, it’s just, I have a question…”

Me: “Inzain… ask.”

Asma: “That night. When we met and… and you-”

            Now I understood everything.

I should’ve known it was a bad idea. I just didn’t think it would be this bad. She was an innocent, I should’ve known better. When the marriage papers first got out to calm down the rumors, my father insisted that we act as an engaged couple. I was absolutely horrified. Knt yahil ya3ni sho engaged! My whole life was ruined, and I felt like I was caged in an unbreakable cellar, with no escape. I hated her, even though it wasn’t entirely her fault. I hated the fact that she even existed. Bas oboy 7alafny inh I be nice to her w che. Basically he was asking me to seduce her, which was the last thing I wanted to do, considering I was tempted to throttle her at first sight. That night, she was scared too. I can now recall it, but on that very night I was too angry and pissed off to notice anything, let alone decide that she should be approached carefully. And her reaction at the beach had puzzled me even more. But now I understand.

This really is going to be difficult. How am I supposed to deal with her? I’ve never bothered with innocent girls, they’re too much of a headache. But now I’m forced to deal with one. I groaned inwardly as I searched for the right words to explain to her.

Me: “You didn’t like that?”

            Wow smooth. Uggh ya3ni what was I supposed to say? She shook her head slowly, her expression revolted.

            5aaaaibh.

Me: “Uhh, ma kan 8a9dy azay3’ch or anything, ya3ni most girls like that…”

            Her eyes widened as I said that. She was utterly disgusted with me, knowing that I had ‘dared’ to do this with other girls. Well, I’ve done worse.

Me: “Bas I guess I should have known you were different. Ely ho, no hard feelings inzain? Bassch zya3’ walla I’m not a monster la tit6ali3ainy che!”

            She calmed down a little bit, but she was still tense.

Me: “Change the subject?”

            I gave her a hopeful smile, and she settled down into her seat, unclenching her hands.

Asma: “Don’t ever touch me again, clear?”

           

            Even though I saw a pinch of amusement in her eyes, I nodded very seriously. She just loved being in control now, did she? Well, let’s change that.

Me: “Bas la tit7arain I’ll leave you alone forever. Someday you will have to surrender to my charms ;)”

            A little frown worked its way up on her face. She was tense again.

Asma: “Rashid, when do you plan on, umm, you know, sealing the deal…”

            Hahahahhaha. Sealing the deal? Walla wayed baree2a. I wondered for 2 seconds what it would be like for her on lailat el da5l. I grinned as I pictured myself over her, in charge of her, knowing that she was mine and I was going to ravish her. I distracted my thoughts as I answered her.

Me: “I’m guessing you want to finish school, and maybe a year or two from college?”

            She seemed relieved to hear me say that. Well, it’s not like I’m eager for this. I wanted to have my last years of fun before… before this.

Me: “Mhmm, ma3alaich ana mb msta3yel. TRUST me.”

            She sighed in relief, and suddenly her eyes were at a halt for just a second as she remembered something.

Asma: “You father… ho ely 3’i9abk?”

             I nodded.

Me: “It’s unfortunate for both of us. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Asma: “Mhmmm…”

            She turned away and stared at her empty tv screen. I narrowed my eyes at her as I saw her drift off. Okaay, nice to know. My future wife has an imaginary world. When I turned to put my headphones back on, I heard her low whisper.

Asma: “I’m sorry.”

            I was completely confused. Why was she apologizing? Shouldn’t that be me? Well, I was too proud and arrogant to apologize from the beginning, bas shockingly, I found myself mimicking her as I saw the sincerity in her eyes.

Me: “I’m sorry too.”

            I shoved my headphones in and turned the volume to the highest before she could say anything else. ‘This isn’t like me…’ I thought. Never have I ever apologized to anyone, especially a girl, even when I knew I was at fault. I always thought, she chose to get involved, and I warned her mn el bdaya. So why the sudden change? Why asma?

To be continued…