Beneath Guarded Hearts - 1

Asma

3wash: “Asma! Yalla goomy laish ba3adch yalsa 3al ktab?! Banit2a5ar!”

            Yes, you heard it right. I love reading. It isn’t something that I tried to hide just because people around me couldn’t understand why on earth I have a passion for reading. My friends can call me a nerd all they want; there is nothing nerdy about the books that I read ;) Mama was thrilled fel bdaya iny bdait agra, bas 6ab3an I got a little obsessed w you know how it goes.

Me: “Yaya yaya! Ana mn el 9b7 jahza lat7arjeen 3alaya yom inty ele yalsa kil hal wagt t3adleen mkyajch”

           

            W as usual, my older sister reeked of the smell of strong perfume. The only thing I can say is Allah yhdeeha. I couldn’t see why she felt the need of make-up. Well, SO much of it anyway. She looked like a clown designed to scare little kids at their birthday parties. I preferred a light touch of make-up: foundation, thin black eye liner, nude lipstick. Simple. NORMAL. I don’t even know why I decided to go along with her little plan. She is so damaged, this sister of mine. Mama w baba know this but for some reason they don’t seem to do anything about it. Well, at least not in front of me. She was using me as an excuse to go out of the house and see “7beebha”.  He’ll probably dump her within the next week or two. And she’ll pretend not to give a damn and seek attention yet again from some other womanizer who has nothing better to do. But through all of our differences, I love my sister to my deepest cores. She is my bestest friend (after Noufyy of course), and we look out for each other. Besides, this was one of the rarest opportunities in which there was a chance to see 3bdulla again. 3wash had an ‘understanding’ with his sister and they would cover up for each other whenever necessary.  And I was her ticket out this time. 3wash doesn’t know that I have a thing for our second cousin, whom she considered as a brother. And thought I did too. This was probably the only thing that Noufyy knew about me that 3wash didn’t.

I decided to fill her in on what was happening. Fta7t my bb and scrolled down to her convo and typed with trembling fingers:

>Noufyyyy!!! Guess shooooo \o/

--What what :O !

>I think bashoofh elyoom :$ Siso needs me to get out of the house w that’s the only place she could think of taking me on such short notice!

--E7lfyyy!

>Walla

--Inzaain asoomty w a5eeran you’ve been waiting for this moment, don’t blow it with your m2adaba behaviour w hal 5rabee6 bassch 3ad! Ba3dain don’t come complaining to me when someone else snatches him and ruins him for you

She sensed my inner conflict as the phrase is writing a message kept appearing and disappearing without an answer. I flushed in anger at her bitter, wounding words

--Asmaaa

--You're not seriously gonna be satisfied with just a glimpse of him are you?!

>Nouf

--Shit you called me nouf x_x

--You're mad ugghhh asoom!

>He's not like that and you KNW it. Ma yramis bnat ma 3ndhm salfa

--7abeebty, kil el awlad yramson bnat chee, latit7arain inah 3’air 3an el bagy w hal 5rabee6 yawailch asoom he’ll break your heart when he was never even yours!

>Nouf inty mat3arfeenh latgoolen chee! Mb chanh inty ele dayman tgoolen don’t judge?

--You don’t know him either hun. The only thing you know is every detail of his physical features. I don’t even know how you know all that when all you do in his presence is put your head down and say nothing 3’air el slam

>Mabah yt7arany aramis awlad!

--Well then how do you plan on making him jealous?

>Why would I make him jealous!

--To take his mind off of other girls ya3ni how will you gain his attention when there are always other girls flocking around him like Barbie dolls

>Kam mara agoolch he's not like that! I even asked 9ul6oon gal inh m2adab

--7abeebty we both know your brother’s version of ‘m2adab’ is waaaaay different than yours

>Ya3ni what are you trying to say through all this ? -,-

--That 3bdulla isn’t the angel you think he is, and as your best friend I don’t wanna see you hurt. Either go after him or forget about him. You are so old fashioned when it comes to love!

>Silent love isn’t old fashioned

--It is. Love altogether is old fashioned. There’s no such thing as love anymore. Guys don’t like that. They want to have pleasure, and lots of it. The only thing you can hope for is that you turn out to be their favourite

>You're wrong

--No I’m not. That’s why you're so mad

>YES you aree!

>And I’m gonna prove you wrong. Baraweech inh 3bdulla is different

--Walla? :P I’d very much like to see how you will do that

>I will.

>The second I enter through their door, I will not be the shy asma who walks invisibly and hides her blushes.

To be continued…