Previously…
Sul6an
"HAI matistahal e5t mthlch. Ma tistahal e7tramch. Ma tistahal your standing up for her. Matistahal 5ara! Hai-"
I stopped myself when I saw the look in Asma's eyes.
---
--
-
Shit...
What have I done??
___________________
Asma
My mind barely made note of the rest of what Sul6an said when the words “He is head over heals for you. He always has been since the moment he saw you after years of being separated from you when you both started growing up…” vibrated through the thin tissues of my eardrums. I blanked out. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.
Sul6an has been known to lie, but that wasn’t the way he saw it. He told so many misleading stories that when I reproached one he’d conveyed before, he would deny his ever saying it, and honest surprise would appear on his face. And no, he couldn’t fake surprised faces. But he knew I wouldn’t lie, so he’d simply say that he was probably teasing me at the time to get a reaction out of me, and he'd give me a light punch on my shoulder. You know how brothers are.
His lies weren’t serious; they were always about light subjects, but one can’t help but wonder if more severe subjects were also exaggerated as ‘jokes’. So I didn’t know what to make of what I had just heard.
Was this another lie that he wouldn’t recall after his fury subsides?
Or was it actually possible that 3bdulla was in love with me?
3bdulla
Why was it suddenly quiet? Asma never closed the door after she left and it was blocking my view from the scene. I tried to move, to keep my eyes open, to listen to the barely audible words… to stay conscious. I hid my agony well from her. My composure was perfect, my face expressionless. I don’t know what my eyes gave away, however. I hope it was dark enough. Everyone complimented my light blue eyes, but I only see them as a curse. It’s odd having blue eyes for a local. My mom told me that my great-grandfather married a beautiful village girl he’d met whom he fell in love with when he visited Spain for trading purposes. Everyone said she had the most significant eyes that resembled the skies on sunny days, the oceans in mid-summer, the iced lakes of the coldest winters… and they were passed on to me.
People assumed iny labs 3adasat, al7emdillah! Only certain family members y3arfoon, and some friends who are really close to me. I hope Asma doesn't know.
The history behind the color of my eyes was a scandal. Imagine wa7d ytzawaj a village girl! La w ba3ad espaneya! I don't get how love can make u do that. You liked someone inzain, fool around a bit if u must, bas mb awal ma u think u love someone you go off marrying them! Kil7ad gal 7ag yady el 3od inha bas tba baizateh, inha 7rameya w she was using him. I'd just rather not recall what else happened because of this, bas his reckless action had happened because he was blinded by her beauty. Cmon ya3ni spanish girls are hot, everyone knows that. Bnaatna ba3ad are totally in love with their guys *for some reason*. Honestly, n7na a7la 3anhm -,- madre laish el local girls wayed mt5ableen 3alaihm. I guess cuz they're tanned. And would make 'hot arabs' if dressed like one.
Yaahh, 3ndy e5t.
Sorry, I happen to mind-babble a lot when I'm by myself.
And when I'm trying to distract my thoughts.
My heartbeat was so fast. 5aaibh it still hasn't dropped since Asma’s touch knocked away my hand. I kept re-playing her words in my head, trying to make sense of everything, to grasp them, to understand her. This was probably the most I was going to get out of her, and probably the last time she'll ever speak to me. I'd be grateful lo 3al a8al batsalim 3alaya during family occasions. Bas even that wouldn't be enough. Because it would be mocking, not out of sheer respect or as an excuse or even in, dare I say, longing. I couldn't stand it. She cared about me. She said so herself. I felt that my heart had stopped when she said it. How come I never knew? I could always make out when a girl was either interested, or when one was pretending not to be but really was, when one who was but was too m2adaba to do anything about it, and when one simply wasn't.
I couldn't tell which was Asma. Such a mystery, my little smurf.
Little smurf... It suits her :) Small yet wise, different yet special, simple yet she stands out. No, this one wasn't simple at all. She was a whole puzzle in herself, with complicated pieces that are very hard to put together. Ya Allah, why can't I have her? Is this some sort of punishment for my past? Because I made girls who saw me the way I saw Asma, suffer? I hadn't meant to, I was just fooling around, and I'd told them that! I was stupid, I was young... Ya Allah, laish?
But I knew why.
Now I had only two options:
Tell her the truth about everything,
---
--
-
.
Or say goodbye forever.
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment