Beneath Guarded Hearts - 27

Previously…

Asma

He didn’t know why I was so against this. He thought it was merely because it was against my will. He didn’t know because he trusted me, and never questioned me. I started shaking and my skin rippled in fear as his torturing words were stomped into my ears. Please let this be another nightmare, please…

_____________

Asma

            When my crying hysteria wore off, I asked 9ul6an for one thing: to let me have my last summer with 3bdulla. He agreed to answer my questions about him, but not getting close w chee. I said 6ab3an la bas ya3ni as in he wouldn’t do anything if he caught us glancing at each other wila shay. He felt guilty enough to concede to my last wish.

            No wonder 3bdulla was so pissed. He held himself together very well considering what kind of news this was. If it were I in his place, I wouldn’t know what I would do. I opened my phone and found the courage to text him.

To: 3bady (Mobile)

3bdulla, we need to talk. Meet me 3dal el lake in 10 minutes. Please don’t bail, this is really important

-Asma

I bit my lip as I stared at my phone, waiting for a reply. But nothing came. Maybe he was getting ready, I thought. Which is what I should be doing if I don’t want to be late.

A part of me doubted that anyone would show. But another part of me couldn't help but hope that he would be standing there, willing to let me explain, to fix everything. To be happy to see me smiling, to provoke my blushes, to be absurdly bold. I couldn't imagine losing all that. Not now anyway.

I started walking, my nerves in a mayhem of one hell of a fret. My mind was whirling with the possibilities of today's outcome, and then suddenly my world froze when I saw him standing there, looking out into the depths of the water and sky. His broad back was relaxed, his posture strong and tall. I wanted to sneak up behind him and twine my arms around him and whisper 3 words as we watched the sun sink into the water. I wanted him to fight for me, to take me away from Rashid and run away...

3bdulla

When I saw her name on my bb screen, my heart stopped. Was I hallucinating? She took me by surprise yet once more. It seems her obstinate head is stronger than her fear, her pain, and her hate.

Even after I'd made her cry, she still wanted to see me. My heart leapt with joy as I dashed out the door and waited patiently by the lake, my thoughts spinning violently, trying to figure out what she was going to say. I don't know how one moment she could hurt me, bring me down, and in the next make me feel like the happiest man on earth. But I wouldn't show her that. I wouldn't show her anything until she told me everything. The thought of Rashid made my back stiffen, my heart skip a fuming beat, my eyes flame in anger. A low whisper cut through my deep thoughts.

Asma: “You came…”

Me: “Of course I came.”

Asma: “Sul6an told me what happened, what he told you.”

I felt a lump rise in my throat.

Me: “Is it true?”

The thought of her belonging to someone else set my nerves on fire. I clenched my fists, trying to release some of that energy into thin air.

I heard her sigh.

Asma: “Apparently, yes.”

Me: “Apparently? Chaih ma knty t3arfeen?”

Asma: “I… I did, but I didn’t think that… that it would… that he…”

Her voice broke. I finally turned around to face her, and she was fighting to keep the tears from falling. It took all I had not to go up to her and offer her comfort, ease her, tell her that we could always figure something out.

But I didn’t understand what she was trying to tell me. This was a touchy subject, I found out.

Me: “Shhh, you don’t have to tell me now. Sometime later yes, but I can’t have you shed one tear on him. Not ONE.”

She nodded, unable to voice her answer.

Asma: “3bady, this may be the last summer I have with you, and I…”

She took a moment to collect herself before she continued.

Asma: “Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t know it was official. Sul6an said he’d fix it, but I… I don’t know what happened and…”

She couldn’t hold it in much longer. Her lips trembled as she tried to speak, but all I heard were sobs and a river of droplets flowing continuously down her face.

It took me two long steps to reach her, and our faces were so close, so close yet her world was far away from mine. I wanted to reach it, enter it, grab what it offered and never let go.

Me: “I said not one tear 7beebty…”

I whispered it gently, compassion flooding in my eyes.

            But I knew why she was crying. Because it hurt me just as bad.

Asma: “I'm not crying for him, damn it! I'm crying because I finally got my wish, but not the way I wanted it.”

This time, she really said something I least expected her to say. What was she talking about?

Me: “Your wish? You wanted to get married at 16? Are you nuts?”

Asma: “No nooo, you got it all wrong. I… I prayed to God that someday you might learn to love me the way I have always loved you. I prayed to God that you would see me as Asma, not as another one of your cousins. I prayed to God so badly that He granted my wish… but I didn’t know we wouldn’t be allowed to be together… that it wasn’t written for us… Shol fayda a7eena? Shol fayda mn 7ubk if you can’t be with me, if you can’t fight for me, if you-”

Me: “Can’t fight for you? To hell with what you THINK our fates are supposed to be. I don’t care how much I have to fight, but I won’t give up until the day of your wedding comes to an end and your marriage is official. Aw3idlch ya Asoomah, I’ll fight until you’re no longer mine to fight for. Don’t ever doubt that.”

I brushed past her, afraid of breaking down if I had stayed further, my emotions sprinting through my veins as my heart vibrated against my chest.

5alh yzig lo yt7ara he can take Asoomah away from me. Bas 5alh yjareb. Over my dead body.

To be continued…