Beneath Guarded Hearts - 10

Previously…

Asma

I subconsciously started to mumble his whispered name as images floated in the darkness under my sealed eyes, until my heart could take no more pain and sent my body into a dreamless, numbed slumber...

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Asma

            I woke up too many times this night, but this time I honestly couldn’t fall asleep. I realized that I was really thirsty, but I didn’t feel like moving an inch out of my bed. I tried to force myself to clear my head and sleep as I kept repeating, ‘everything is black. There is only blackness. Blankness. Black… Black… It was really dark. But I could still see his eyes. Such beautiful eyes… La asma! Snap out of it! Black… Darkness…’

            Okaay, so I had a weird way of shutting my brain up, but I couldn’t think of anything else! I finally gave up, seeing that it was pointless, and suddenly sat up. To hell with it, let’s get some water. I paused just as I was about to turn the door handle, remembering that he was in our house. Ugggh, a7eena lazm albas shaila… w lazm arb6 sha3ry… w mafeeny at3adal just incase yalis yt7awa6 fel bait…

Sho yt7awa6! Shut up asma yal 3’abeya he can barely walk on his own, w ana yalsa agool yt7awa6? 9idg iny mb 9a7yeh -,-

            I pushed my door open a little too roughly, and I marched out of the door, feeling very stubborn for some reason.

Me: “This is MY house. I can walk in it however freely I want to! Wa7d 7mar coward! Zay3’ mn umma ba3ad ma3nda the guts to admit what he did…”

            And I kept on babbling to myself all the way to the kitchen. It felt good to let all the negative energy out. I opened the lights and was momentarily blinded as my eyes struggled to adjust to the bright light. After a minute of tirelessly rubbing my eyes, I climbed up the cupboard as my toes touched the cold, marble surface of the 6awla and reached for the top shelf, where I hid all my favourite mugs. I was used to being short, and because of me climbing everywhere to reach the things I needed, my family started calling me monkey for a little while xD Anyway, I'm obsessed with mugs for some reason, and, especially when we go to Disney World, I just HAVE to buy one when I travel! I honestly have so much pleasure drinking from them o:)

Me: “Yalla time to cheer up! Which mug will it beee?”

I scanned the whole bunch for a minute before I picked one out. I chose the beer glass that I bought from this little shop in an American village (I forgot the name) that had unique things, and it was hand-painted with rare colors of glass paint. It was beautiful. And no, I don’t care if it’s a beer glass as long as it’s pretty and I use it for NON-alcoholic drinks :) I almost bought a much smaller coca cola one that was even prettier, (and you should know that I am completely obsessed with coca cola!) bas it turned out to be mal alcohol shots w mama was with me and she directly refused to let me buy it. Ugghh moms, walla it was so cute! Anyway I highlighted a big smile on my face as I carried the glass to the water container w 9abaitly may baaarid. As I tried to gulp the whole glass in one sip, which is what happens when I get seriously thirsty, some water spilled down my throat and onto my M&M’s pjs. I pulled the glass away from my mouth, laughing as the cold water built tiny goose pumps over my exposed arms and legs. I hugged myself inside my robe as i snuggled it around me and rubbed the goose bumps away. And I suddenly realized it. I was actually laughing. I froze in the position I was in as my mind wandered off, which tends to happen a lot of times but it looks weird for people who are watching xD Ya3ni they’d be like, what’s wrong with her matat, yalha heart attack, something stung her ymkin? Hhhhhhhh. I laughed more as I remembered my mother’s reaction when she first saw this happening. She actually called the hospital and took me to a therapist! I lowered myself to the floor and rested my back on the hard metal door of our fridge as I recapped funny little moments in my head and continued laughing. My hair was a complete mess, my pjs were wet, I was alone, and I can honestly say that I couldn't have felt any better! I knew this mug would cheer me up :’) If only this happiness lasted longer, and wasn’t like a sugar rush that quickly faded away…

3bdulla

            I couldn’t sleep all night. Tafkeery kan fe asma, w sho basawy, w kaif basaweeh. I suddenly decided to go home. The mere thought of being under the same roof as her aroused me yet again. This had to stop. I headed down very slowly w carefully mabi3’ait anish ay 7ad especially not asma.

            As I was about to open the door, I heard some squabbling coming from the kitchen, and I realized that the lights were open. I froze. After a little over 3 minutes, I heard the sweetest laughter cracking through the silence of the dark night, dancing its way into my ears like a melody… I found myself in the same state as the village people who had followed the Pied Piper when he played hypnotizing tunes, and my legs started moving towards the source of the beautiful harmony that sang out to me…

To be continued…