Beneath Guarded Hearts - 29

Previously…

3bdulla

His words were like a wake up call. He was bringing forth the question that I’ve been avoiding for months. Do I want asma and only asma? Is she really the one, or just another girl who will be a part of my past?

_____________

Asma

            Of course, mama had planned a whole schedule for every week. The first day was for resting and ‘chillaxing’. After we unpacked kilshay, we all gathered up together for tea and played cards. The day ended soon enough, but it took forever for me. 3bdulla was… ignoring me. He seemed so out of this world, his thoughts lingering to different places, his eyes out of focus. He once stumbled over a rock because he wasn’t looking properly. What was wrong with him?

Me: “Sul6an? Why is 3bdulla acting weird?”

I whispered it to him as everyone continued chattering and laughing over some funny moment that happened in the past. Sul6an simply seemed amused. He eyes were hauling with laughter as he looked at 3bdulla’s discomposed form.

Me: “Aaaih this isn’t funny!”

            Apparently maram eyawed 3mrah chan he whispered something urgently to me and ran off. Seconds later, we heard a deep laughter fill the air from afar.

            I rolled my eyes and decided to text him. 3ad mayestwee I talk to him jdam kil7ad, especially when he always makes me blush. No, I was too readable, so I took out my blackberry and started typing.

To: 3bady (Mobile)

Heyy, you okay?

I saw him twitch as his bb vibrated. I don’t know why my heart was beating really fast. I watched anxiously from a distance as he read the message. He was in total disarray. After he read it, he shook his head disapprovingly, and ran his hands through the pitch-black locks of his hair. Well, that was unusual. What’s going on?

            After what seemed ages, I concluded that he simply wouldn’t reply to me, to add to his ‘you-are-invisible’ act. He was seriously getting on my nerves. I shrugged it off and said that just because he was having a bad day doesn’t mean that I should too. I joined one of the conversations that were dancing between one family member to the other, and I found a good outlet to distract myself temporarily. However, I couldn’t help but glance at him this one time, and I saw that he was staring at me. He quickly glanced away and returned to his ‘other world’ when he met my eyes.

‘You jerk, ana mb li3ba ay wagt you please etee 3ndy w ti6ala3ny w ba3dain etferny on the side to rot away’ I thought as I turned my attention back to the lively conversation. ‘Fine. You want to pretend I’m invisible? I’ll return the favors and do the same.’

            The next day, mama planned an exciting trip at sea! She rented a boat for all of us with a personal guide and he took us into the middle of the ocean. It was beautiful. We went snorkeling and saw many eccentric creatures in the clear waters, and after jumping from the top a couple of times and taking crazy pictures, we had our own barbeque.

            Okaay, so maybe I enjoyed it less than I was telling myself. It was just so unnerving! 3bdulla was topless. W he stayed in his swimsuit the whole time. And worse, when we went to a beach to relax shwaya, we saw 3rab hnak. The girls were giggling and staring at his abs like he was a display item or a magazine model. My nerves went on fire, but I ignored them. I didn’t even spare him a glance to see how he was reacting. I swore that I wouldn’t be treated like a doll, and I intended to keep this promise. I have more self-respect than to accept such behavior. Bas that didn’t make the fury go away. I wanted to go and slap them on the face and see them cry like the little spoiled brats they were. But of course I didn’t. ‘Silent treatment’, I reminded myself. You can do this Asma. 5alh yzig mayestahalnee. And then I stopped myself at that thought as another gloomy one replaced it. ‘I’m the one who doesn’t deserve him. I should have known he would soon tire of me.’

            I felt tears springing up in my eyes, but I quickly let the negative thoughts go before they provoked my tears from spilling even more. I slowly wiped the slightly damp surface under my eyes when I thought no one was looking, and painted a smile across my face. ‘I’m going to enjoy this’, I told myself. But the tears came right back up. ‘Damn it! Why are you so weak Asma?! You KNEW! Deep down you KNEW it wasn’t going to work out! You KNEW what kind of person he was even as you walked into the door of their house and saw the look in his eyes. You KNEW when he didn’t deny meeting up with 3wash, but lied to you about the reason. You KNEW deep down that he never-’. I swallowed the rising lump in my throat, and kept my eyes open, unblinking, waiting for the sun to dry away the tears that lurked on the surface. And then a deep voice broke my focus. My tears surrendered, defying the sun, resisting my attempts at holding them back.

            But it wasn’t 3bdulla.

It was Rashid.

Rashid: “Asma?”

            I didn’t move to face him, my fear paralyzing me. I stared at the sea in front of me and the tears kept playing with my eyesight. I couldn’t think, move, except register the fact the he was here. My skin rippled under my slightly damp clothes, my body shivering, and suddenly huge arms encircled me. I jerked out of my spot, the fear bursting out of me at the surprising touch, but he held me in place with his strength, showing me exactly who was in control. He could fling me into the ocean without raising a finger, my weight featherless compared to his strength. It was happening all over again. All the images that appeared as flashes in my darkest dreams played in a movie in front of me. This can’t happen again… Sul6an… 3bdulla… Anyone… WHY did I walk so far away from our boat?! My tears blurred my sight completely, and I barely found my voice to whisper angrily.

Me: “Let go of me.”

Rashid: “Bas we’re engaged ya 3mry, why can’t I show my fiancé how much I adore her?”

            He hugged me more tightly and sat me in his lap. I tried to squirm away, but he was too strong…

Me: “Rashid… PLEASE…”

            I hissed through my chattering teeth. My voice broke, and I started sobbing quietly. His grip loosened a little bit and I felt his muscles tense, but he didn’t let go of me. He turned me around instead, to face him in my humiliated state. He looked me straight in the eye, his face expressionless.

Rashid: “Laish t9ee7en?”

            There was a hint of anger in his tone of voice. Oh my God, Asma stop crying! You’ll make him mad! And then… and then…

            Surprisingly, concern filled in his eyes, and he kissed the tears on my cheeks gently, his thumb lifting my chin to hold my face in place. I barely heard his whisper as I froze in shocked silence.

Rashid: “Who upset you ya 3mry? Tell me…”

            He continued kissing my face, slowly sliding down to reach my lips. I was motionless as the tears sprang higher and fell gently down. I tried to push at his chest, but my efforts were worthless; he didn’t feel a thing. I wanted to scream for help, but my voice was gone, lost in the fear that ate away at my throat. Just as he reached the edge of my lips, someone interrupted the deadly silence, cutting through Rashid’s lust and causing him to momentarily break contact with my face.

            It was 3bdulla.

To be continued…